Duke attempts the Impossible

[HOLDorFOLD]

Had a phone call today from good old British Gas.

BG: Good Afternoon Mr Smyth British Gas here, you used to be a customer of ours
Me: Well done Sherlock
<pause>
BG: May I ask you who you current provider for Gas and Electricity is and how much is your monthly payment?
Me: No
<pause>
BG: Sorry Sir.
Me: I said No you may not ask me who my current supplier is and how much is my monthly payment.
<pause>
BG: Erm may I ask why Sir?
Me: You want to know my current supplier so you can cynically do a sneaky comparison with them and magically come in with a monthly saving of a couple of pounds. So instead of that malarkey give me your best price based on the configuration of my home and my monthly usage which I am happy to provide..
BG: But Sir I need to know your current supplier so I can do a comparison.
Me: That’s the point numpty.  I just want your best price and I will do the comparing.
BG: I cannot do that Sir.
Me: Why? Is it not on that check list and rules of engagement in front of you?
BG: Sir?
Me: So you are refusing to give me a quote for the utilities you provide and you expect me to switch to you not knowing what I would be paying. Well that has to go down as the single biggest corporate piece of double talk I have ever encountered. Please remove all my contact details from your systems immediately. Have a nice rest of the day.


I am still off the cigarettes…….

  Printing this out and keeping by the phone ready 

I am still on the cigarettes

[duke3016]

Just over a week until DTD, Swindon next week for a couple of days then heading for Notts from Friday to Monday. Looking forward to it much  oh yes

[Scousebill]

Me too.. Straight from a weeks holiday in a canal boat to the choppy waters of DTD 

[AceOnTheRiver]

Just over a week until DTD, Swindon next week for a couple of days then heading for Notts from Friday to Monday. Looking forward to it much  oh yes

I mis-read that first time round and it was a bit of a shock.

Can't wait, hope the Fresca is chilling 

[duke3016]

Sigh - go in ahead - lose, go in behind lose, so it's just lose 

Watch out DTD I am on a severe tilt 

[duke3016]

OK tonight is a change to usual fayre with a Birthday Bash game at the aquarium - 20k chips no rebuy (same as Friday really)

Don't mind if I do.....

[duke3016]

Oh well, done in last night by the old "let's pair the turn and river to counterfeit Ger's flopped two pair"

Back tonight for more mayhem....

[duke3016]

Conversation last night in the Smyth household.

Wee Man: “I am going to the Leeds Festival next weekend”
Me: “That’s nice” (Knowing full well what this is leading to)
Wee Man: “Yeah, some great bands are performing” (Rattles off a stream of names)
Me: “Hmm” (Let him stew for a while)
Wee Man: “It’ll be great craic, we are camping”
Me: “Lovely, hope the weather stays fine”
Wee Man: “Gonna be there from Thursday to Monday”
Me: “Good”
Wee Man: “Erm, just one thing” (here it comes)
Me: “Yes”
Wee Man: “The money needs paying tonight”
Me: “Fair enough”
Wee Man: “Can I borrow £200 then please”
Me: “£200 – you staying in the Plaza”
Wee Man: “Funny, anyway I will pay you back”
Me: “Yeah right”
Wee Man: “Yes, the deposit on the flat is on its way back to me”
Me: “Erm and”
Wee Man: “I will give that to you”
Me: “Oh thanks, seeing as it was me who paid the deposit in the first place”
Wee Man: “Well, um, you know”

Priceless……………………..

[duke3016]

abominable, ugly,  shocking, alarming, horrific, appalling, atrocious, gruesome, deplorable, depressing, dire, disgusting, distressing, dreadful, fearful, frightful, ghastly, gross , grungy, harrowing, hideous, horrendous, horrible,  horrifying, nasty, offensive, repulsive, stinking, synthetic, tough, unpleasant,

Yep it aquarium time……….

[david3103]

I'll be at Leeds too, along with Lucy and all it's costing is some of our time...


http://www.oxfam.org.uk/Stewarding

[duke3016]

Ok last night at the aquarium was fun - AK << AQ standard in that place.

It hurt a wee bit more that it was Adam LOL

[duke3016]

It's Saturday and it's 6.15pm and I am sober - must rectify that 

[duke3016]

Tomorrow it's off to Swindon coming back Wednesday night - Deeside Thursday - then DTD on Friday yayyyyy

[duke3016]

Back, safe and sound from the metropolis of Swindon. To relieve the boredom of the trip down I played the old ‘beat the satnav’ game.

You type in your destination and take a note of the estimated time of arrival. It said 17:40. As you drive you see that change depending on road conditions. However the game is to make sure that the original time is beaten. Due to some M6 fun and games the time slipped up to 17:50. That will not do.

I stepped up the forward motion a tad and the ETA began to move down in the right direction. It was not going to beat me. M5 shenanigans again made the time slip. Undeterred I increased the forward motion and the time was again coming down.

Just before Junction 11A on the M5 I found out two things.

1.   I was never going to beat the satnav
2.   Traffic Police have never heard of the game 

[mousebob]

another little chuckle