I was very sweet on a wee girl in the village in my late teens. Her name was Christine and she was a really wonderful girl and didn't really deserve a Shiite like me. It obviously didn't work out but our times together were fun.
I was a teeny bit arrogant in those days and consequently got into some situations I really shouldn't have. One year we went out for Christmas dinner because my Mother went on strike. I didn't mind because we had booked into a rather nice hotel in Killaloe for the occasion. The meal was lovely and as a bonus Christine worked in the same hotel in the stables. She used to school the horses and the residents were allowed to ride around the paddock.
I went outside and she was schooling a horse over a few small jumps and she spotted me and came over.
"Can you ride a horse" says she
"Of course" Lied I
She leapt off the horse, god she was beautiful, I must have been the biggest eejit in the world to let that one slip.
She handed me the reins and I managed to clamber aboard without too much embarrassment. I felt like John Wayne as I serenely sat atop this lovely animal. I gently tapped the sides with my heels. No movement.
No I resisted the temptation to say "Giddyup" or some other trite statement, so I made that funny sound though my teeth that I had seen in the films. No movement.
Now Christine's eyes were dancing with merriment as she respectfully tried hard not to laugh. I felt myself reddening up and I dug my heels in a little harder. No movement.
I sighed, relaxed and was about to admit my abject failure when this horse decided that he had enough of this fecker on his back. I felt the horse tense and the next second I was in the air and stretching my length on the ground. I looked up and the horse was stock still looking as innocent and pure as the driven snow. Christine had abandoned her efforts at not laughing and was creased up in a ball on the ground.
"Know horses then" says she
Well ego well and truly battered I was about to get angry and storm off, when I also started to laugh and the day was a beautiful one after that.
Great times , priceless and very much missed.