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Duke attempts the Impossible
duke3016:
duke3016:
duke3016:
The River Shannon is, at 386 km (240 miles), the longest river in Ireland. The river represents a major physical barrier between east and west, with fewer than twenty crossing-points between Limerick city in the south and the village of Dowra in the north.
By tradition the Shannon is said to rise in the Shannon Pot, a small pool on the slopes of Cuilcagh Mountain in County Cavan.
It is a favourite for pleasure cruises because, as far as I can remember, it only has 4 or 5 locks in it's entire length. One summer myself, Frank Ryne, Michael O'Meara and Denis Touhy decided to take a week on one of these cruisers.
My mother, bless her, had filled a box full of provisions for the week and when we arrived we were pleasantly surprised to find that our 4 berth had been upgraded to a 6 berth complete with large fridge. The box of provisions was stored in a cupboard, a fridge is for beer right.
Mike was a total abstainer and never drank in his life, however he was as mad as a hatter and therefore was given the task of driving the boat, while we got bladdered. We started in Killaloe and drove (sailed?) north. We had decided to go as far as we could on the first day, but only made the far side or Lough Derg because there was a nice pub in Garrykennedy, sigh don't dive off a moored boad while pissed and there is only 3 feet of water.
The next day we headed north again and managed to make shannonbridge, it was a nice trip and we had great Craic on the way. On day 4 we had to turn back and head south and the first lock we entered on the way back had room for 4 boats. We nudged our way in and bumped the boat next to us and got a mouthful of abuse from some Dutch tourists and it was all we could do to stop Denis organizing a boarding party.
Because there was a very small fixed price for using the lock we used to tip the keeper handsomely for his time. It was a lovely day and there was another boat making its way to the lock. It looked about 10-15 minutes away and as there was room in the lock the keeper was waiting, so we didn't care. However the Dutch crew was giving the keeper a hard time about the wait (also they had only paid him the minimum) and it was getting a little heated. We had to sit on Denis for a second time.
When the boat arrived and was in the lock the keeper shut the gates. When you go down the river it drops obviously so you keep a loose rope through the fixed eyelet on the wall and feed the rope through as you go down in order to keep the boat from bumping other boats. We had had enough of that.
I looked across and noticed that the Dutch had tied their ropes to the wall while they were waiting and had forgotten to release them. I was about to shout across when then keeper caught my eye and shook his head. I stayed quiet and watched.
As the level dropped the rope got taught and by the time the Dutch had noticed their mistake the rope was too tightly strung to undo it. Well the boat started to lean and then the cleats on the boat cracked with the weight and popped out causing a huge amount of damage and the boat dropped with a splash.
Well we were in bits as we drove out of the lock whilst stopping Denis from taking off a particularly gobby tourist's head with the bill hook.
priceless
pokerpops:
--- Quote from: duke3016 on December 11, 2016, 18:07:19 PM ---
Whilst bored a couple of years ago I jotted these down - now you can be bored too.
Or maybe research yourselves what happened on your notable dates
Year of my Birth 1954
Notables:
“Marian Year” the first in church history (many a boy has Mary for a second name - not me I may add)
First public demonstration of machine translation by IBM
First nuclear powered submarine launched
“Rock around the clock” recorded by Bill Hayley and the comets
Sub 4 minute mile
UEFA is formed
The Fellowship of the Ring, the first part of The Lord of the Rings, is published in the UK.
My Eighteenth birthday 1972
Notables:
First Mobile phone call
Watergate
Mark Spitz becomes the first Olympian to win seven gold medals. And 11 Israeli athlete were killed
My 21st Birthday 1975
Notables:
Jimmy Hoffa goes missing
Last episode of Gunsmoke
Ali beats Frazier in manila
The name "Micro-soft" (for "microcomputer software") is used by Bill Gates in a letter to Paul Allen for the first time.
My 40th Birthday 1994
Notables:
Nancy Kerrigan is clubbed on the right leg by an assailant under orders from figure skating rival Tonya Harding. (her ex husband did it)
Linux kernel version 1.0.0 is released.
Channel Tunnel opened
O. J. Simpson is arrested for the murders of his wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman.
My 50th Birthday 2004
Notables:
Janet Jackson exposes her breast on American television.
The last episode of the popular television sitcom Friends airs.
Lance Armstrong makes history, winning his 6th consecutive drug fuelled Tour de France.
My 60th Birthday 2014
Notables:
Water vapour is detected on the dwarf planet Ceres
Ukrainian Revolution begins
Psy"s "Gangnam Style" becomes the first video to reach 2 billion views on YouTube
South African athlete Oscar Pistorius is found not guilty of murdering his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp
--- End quote ---
Can confirm that 1954 was a noteworthy year :)
duke3016:
British Gas installed a smart meter for me a while ago. It's supposed to send them the meter reading for both Gas and Electricity every day. I also have a meter in the house that tells me 'real time' what I am using.
The last bill showed me in massive credit and they refunded me the difference immediately without me asking. Nice one.
They also adjusted my direct debit to reflect the usage of these utilities. Now the smart meter in my house is showing approximately £4 per day usage of both during the winter period. Now by my reckoning this equates to approx £120 a month. Their new figure is £48 a month.
I went onto the website and used their calculator and lo and behold it came up with £48 a month. Now, not wanting to owe them money at the end of the next 6 month billing cycle I attempted to change my direct debit to £120 a month. Oh no you are not allowed to give us more money than the calculated figure.
Let"s see what happens ;D ;D
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