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APAT WCOAP Main Event: Day1b Live Update
Mikeyboy9361:
--- Quote from: TightEnd on August 29, 2010, 10:44:32 AM ---
--- Quote from: ian.ski309 on August 29, 2010, 10:24:39 AM ---
Did you have to milk the cows this morning Tighty ? :D
--- End quote ---
I got locked out of my room wearing only a towel.
--- End quote ---
Good job there was no stray Bull, wandering about ;)
NellieG:
I can see this being a regular place to stay when you are in Nottingham Tighty, you are really getting to know the farmer"s wife well! Love your stories. Have a nice day!
sharky_uk:
Is Jack still in?
SirPercival:
--- Quote from: TightEnd on August 29, 2010, 11:04:26 AM ---
My landlady is a very pleasant hostess, and her breakfasts are to die for.
Yesterday morning, replete with bacon and toast, she asked me a propos of nothing
"If you are getting in late, I can always bring you some breakfast to your room tomorrow?"
I jumped at the chance of breakfast in bed, told her what I would like, we agreed on 9am and last night, returning to my room slightly earlier than the night before at 2.15am, I fell into slumber knowing that I would awake to the wafting of breakfast at the end of the bed.
Fast forward nearly seven hours and I must be in a deep sleep. I wake with a start at a banging noise on my door
"Richard, Richard!"
I am disorientated, you know that happens sometimes when you are sleeping in an unfamiliar place
I composed myself
"Yes?" I answered at the door
"I have your breakfast, shall I come in?"
This was slighty difficult as I was sleeping without my customary Harrods Pyjamas, monogrammed with APAT's insignia.
I stuttered
"C-C-C-an you leave it outside please, I will pick it up when I am dressed?"
"OK then" came the cheery reply of the lady, no doubt already up for five hours.
Now at this point dear reader, I no doubt should have got dressed. Trousers at least. Maybe a T-Shirt.
But no. No indeed. FML.
I decided in my half awake state to wrap a large bathroom towel around my midriff, and open the door to pick up the breakfast.
I opened the door. The Breakfast tray was to the side of the door, just out of reach.
Now at this point dear reader, I no doubt should have gone and got my room key.
But No. No indeed. FML.
I decided to hold the door open with one foot, whilst reaching down to pick up the tray, dressed only in a towel.
I am of course built for gymnastics, indeed i represented my country in the Parallel Bars in the Moscow Olympics, so a breakfast tray held no fears to me.
I reached out, one foot in the air holding the door open, both hands outstretched. I unbalanced, and found myslef on all fours in the guest house corridor, staring at a pot of tea, wearing a towel..but with the door slammed shut behind me.
It is quite difficult to retain one"s sang froid when on all fours in a hotel corridor wearing nothing but a towel.
Now then, what to do?
Eat Breakfast and think about it later? The thought crossed my mind.
Knock on another room and get them to ring the Farmhouse kitchen? No, the thought did not cross my mind
I decided to tiptoe to the guest house entrance and Peek Out. After all, no doubt I could attract the attention of a passing chicken or Cow. FML.
I opened the guest house door. I let out a plaintive "Hello...." the word losing itself on the breeze of an Autumnal August morning.
I tried again, at which point the 4-5 year old son looked up from his play on what appeared to be a ride-on tractor
"Excuse me" I proferred politely "Can you get your mum?"
He walked towards me, and I feared the worst
My fears were confirmed when he came up to me, looked at my bare top half and said
"Why?"
I explained, and he ran off giggling.
A couple of minutes later Ruth returned smiling. She brushed passed me with the efficiency of a hotelier of some distinction used the master key to open my door and, a cruel touch this I thought, held the door open for me to walk past back into my room. As I sat down on my bed again, she carried the tray in, set it down on the table and wandered out.
I was sure I caught the sotto voce tell tale "Tut" as she did so
Breakfast was very nice indeed.
--- End quote ---
[ x] crying laughing
[ x] makes the drive home last night worth it
[ ] please post pictures
stone:
--- Quote from: TightEnd on August 29, 2010, 11:04:26 AM ---
a large bathroom towel around my midriff
--- End quote ---
Please ascertain where said towels are from, as I err know someone who needs them :-[
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