Amateur Poker Association & Tour
Poker Forum => General Discussion => Member Blogs => Topic started by: VBlue on October 11, 2012, 09:56:22 AM
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My blog has a new focus and I have put more of myself into this along with poker.
I really hope you guys give it a go and I can pick up some extra readers here. I run an external Blogger page but I believe the protocol is to cut and paste here, although ideally I would prefer the readers at my site (but either way the extra readers would be greatly welcomed).
I also continue to try and find time to work in more APAT into my poker calendar, to contribute more to this community, and to finally play live with you in 2013. I will also be looking to some of the online events later this year/next year.
For those who do not know me at all, my main involvement has been captaining Carlisle poker club last year in Division 2, with some success (just missing out on promotion but seriously boosting numbers in a very ailing part of the country for APAT membership).
I will now post the first and second parts of my new improved blog. Please join in and contribute with any comments whatsoever. I look forward to hearing from you and to your readership.
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When I Was A Child I Wondered What If My Name Had Changed Into Something More Productive
"When I was a child I wondered what if my name had changed into something more productive, like Roscoe", lyric to "Roscoe", by Midlake
One of, if not the, greatest lyrics of my life. I love it when a band present you with a song and then refuse to define it. Pink Floyd"s "Wish You Were Here" being another. You can have all the explanations and analysis you want, but if it means something to you that nobody else has picked up on - hold on to that and use it in whichever way you choose.
When I was a child, I played cards sometimes with my Dad and my brother. It"s a familiar story, like a "jumpers for goalposts" anecdote, but "matchsticks instead of money" here. I had always been fascinated by the potential my fantasy of Wild West poker playing conjured. I had no idea that the game was what it was across the Atlantic and that it would come to the UK online and live in the way it has in the ten years since I first turned on Channel 4"s Late Night Poker show, captivated by the names and characters - "The Elegance", Jacarama, Bambos, and a very nerdy looking Phil Hellmuth (think Eugene from the musical film Greece). But this blog is not a trip down memory lane, or my story of how I found poker, made a small deposit online, ..........and sleep.
This is about the now. And it is about the future.
Something happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I unloaded on my girlfriend.......I was struggling to find motivation at work, I was giving myself a hard time perhaps, and my view of the World has been better (and worse). The next day, I felt clarity and invigorated. Some times we just need someone to listen to us (and to hold us).
Raise your standards and change your limiting beliefs. Anthony Robbins said to, and he is a huge guy, so who am I to argue? This is where it started for me. Believing in myself again. Without the vision we cannot begin the journey. With the belief in place, we simply will find away. I promise not to preach throughout, but this has meant a lot to me recently.
So what do I believe and what are the standards to which I will hold myself? I truly believe in being responsible for my own future, in integrity, and that there is a giant inside us all waiting to be awakened. Copyright attributable to the aforementioned Mr Robbins.
Blogging
I want to blog, and I want people to read. Why? I like communicating. I have newly discovered the medium of Twitter and can see so many opportunities. Unlike Facebook, Twitter allows you to talk to the people you "follow" instantly and hear back from them, if they choose to reply. Where the person you are following has millions of "followers" it is obviously much less likely that they will even see your "tweet" (shall I continue with the quotations?) but I have been able to talk directly to Barry Carter (who has promised to read this blog, so Hi Barry and thanks for looking in), Jared Tendler (both he and Barry have authored the excellent Mental Game of Poker - the bible on modern poker psychology), and I am currently stalking a number of other people I would like to make connections with in the poker world and beyond (relent now and save us both some time as I will hunt you all down eventually).
I have found myself becoming a master of the multi-task communication, often live-talking to an actual person I can see in front of my own eyes, tweeting someone else, chatting on Facebook, answering an e-mail, and flagging Morse code, whilst feeding the baby! This means that I can speak to the World and all those who live in it 24/7 on all manor of subjects.
Publicity for professional poker players is something which has grown over the ten years I have been playing this game for and we now see that growing a profile has many advantages. I want some of that.
This is the first of a new focus for me in blogging. There are some other bloggers (and their blogs) around that I admire - James Atkin, the Black Belt Poker bloggers, Daleroxxu, Victoria Coren, and many more, for both writing ability and in some cases the beauty of the blog itself. What do my readers like to see when they read blog? Is this plain black on white with no distracting backgrounds preferable over something more designed and individual (could you stand starting at my tiled face in the background?) I will start to add bells and whistles - blog links, maybe one or two affiliated links to some sites I admire and recommend, and some other stuff I haven"t thought of yet. The affiliate links will be very carefully added and I will only recommend those sites, or products which I understand and believe are value - this will not solely be an exercising in spinning some income.
Also, Wordpress or blogger.com? All input is greatly appreciated as I write for you to read and for your enjoyment, as well as for my own reasons.
Breakthrough Poker Training
We chased our pleasures here
Dug our treasures there
But can you still recall
The time we cried
Break on through to the other side
lyrics to "Break On Through" by The Doors
Nick Wealthall sends me stuff (not just me) all the time. The man is a pest! It"s usually free (groan) and the stuff I have got around to watching or reading is also useful, intelligent, fresh, and sometimes humorous (please stop clogging up my online storage system which actually has no impact on my life whatsoever).
To put a cherry on the top of it, he only then went and badgered me about some twelve month training course he is selling, with a month free trial and no tie-in beyond thirty days, even reminding me on the day the offer ran out. OK Nick - if you stop this I will sign-up.
The course is delivered online, in pdf and mp3 format (it"s like getting sent your ring binder, dividers, and four weekly parts per month with attached cassette, only a bit more 2012) and you have access to the Gold members area, a monthly webinar, opportunity to ask questions (all of which are replied to by Nick personally) and contributions from Kevin MacPhee and a few other guys who have won the odd million or five playing poker.
To compliment the package there is also a poker goal setting template which I will be turning my attention towards this week, together with the first part of the first month"s training on pre-flop aggression and playing against other aggressive pre-flop players.
Nick also delivers on the topic of mental game and the only video of his that I have watched to date was pivotal in focusing me back on playing poker, as opposed to clicking buttons. The advice I recall was simply - enjoy playing, enjoy the challenge, and if you don"t then go and do something else where you do.
Half a Dozen Live Tournaments
I"ve played live poker, from pub poker to private members" clubs, going back over about five or six years now. I have only just recently ventured as far as the Vegas of the North (which is the casino closest to my locality) in Blackpool.
I played 132 runner £50 re-entry the weekend that the Sky Poker Tour was in town and played again a couple of months later in a slightly smaller buy-in event with half the runners. I felt very comfortable at the tournament and cash tables and I know I can make money down there.
I want to devote some bankroll and effort to finally experiencing some of what the UK has to offer on the tours and in a large local event with a poker club I have had involvement with since inception, although that involvement has waned this year. Northern Poker Stars, of Cumbria, hold a £200 + £20 event and have run the biggest legal poker prize pool in the county of just over £10,000. The player pool is made up of some very good talent and the banter is second to none.
I am going to look at the UKIPT series, GUKPT series, and new kids Genting series - which on current bankroll will have to be satellite opportunities. I have long wanted to play one of the excellent and very highly regarded Black Belt Live tournaments and await the announcement of the 2013 calendar with much excitement. Finally, another organisation I have flirted with and would like to get tighter with is the Amateur Poker Association Tour (APAT) and I will probably pay the £75 buy-in direct for the closest tournament on the tour to me, which I think will be Glasgow.
What I now want to do is form a Band of Cumbrian Brothers to travel with, satellite alongside, and go and take these tournament felts by storm. When Neil Channing and Jamie Burland visited us in February we asked them to name famous players they knew from Cumbria and they gave answers for players from the North East. We are North West chaps (they don"t get past the Watford Gap too often I don"t think). I want them, on their next visit to the lands of mintcake, sheep, and hills, to breathe our names in answer to that same question.
The Boy - Roscoe
This brings me back to my opening line. I hope to not only share tales of a rising online poker star, or a fearsome live tournament shark, but I also want to share a little of the human side. This is where I hold up a nice picture of some fluffy kittens. In fact, I have a family photo session booked soon so perhaps one of those naked from the waist up holding my naked son photos would better illustrate. Although if you have seen the amount of hair that sprouts from my front, back, arms, and neck it would potentially lose what few readers I currently have and I"m trying to build something here, not knock it down.
The boy was born on 4th December, 2011. It"s a cliche, because it"s true, but life has changed - beyond recognition in many ways. The first three months were all about a tiny baby that needed us for everything and struggled with many things life presented. The next three months were about establishing routines, getting him in his own room, baby groups, and dealing with a baby that could move of it"s own accord. The last three months have been about gaining some control over a very strong-willed character with a disregard for danger, an amazing sense of humour, and a determination that has left me astounded. The connection we have made in the last month or two has illuminated my soul and helped me to believe in myself. The boy looks at me in a way I have never experienced before and he only needs a smile in return to splatter a wide open-mouthed smile across his beaming face. That is a powerful moment.
I purchased a new toy last week, and I"m not usually a boy"s toys kinda boy. It is a Sony HD camcorder. Do the Oscars have a best home movie category? I really wanted to make The Blair Witch Project before it was made. In fact, as I thought of it first, I may be due royalties. The other question: has anyone ever made a home movie that anyone outside their own family would want to watch? If not, I"m sure we will have many hours of fun. Not those home movies either.
Health & Fitness
Has long been neglected. I think my diet and lifestyle is reasonably healthy but my fitness level is only maintained by a thirty minute walk to and from work five times per week and wheeling the buggy round on a weekend. We did venture out into the Lakes a couple of weeks ago for a stroll around Tarn Hows near Ambleside. I might take up tennis. Anyone for tennis?
I close what I hope has been a refreshing, enjoyable, informative, and inspiring read. If I"ve set my sights a little high with that goal then I do not apologise. If I have failed to reach it, then I promise I will work harder next time to get there and I would really appreciate you sticking with me as I do.
Please add your comments as with your feedback and investment in this blog - big things could be achieved.
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The Difficult Second Blog Title
I"m starting this second episode of my new blog whilst drinking a coffee and eating a huge slice of humble pie. Humbled because 283 very lovely people took time to look in, read, and offer feedback on my first episode in just three days since I posted. A very big collective thank you to all. An extra special thank you to those who offered some insight into what worked and what could have been improved and offered some very kind encouragement and critique of my writing.
It really is difficult to keep coming up with relevant and/or witty titles - I hope the one I went with will suffice.
Life
"Life, oh life, oh life, oh life doo,
doot doot dooo. Life, oh life,
oh life doo, doot dooo".
Lyrics to Life, by Des"ree
Wise words indeed.
It"s important to surround yourself with the right people in your own life, to understand those relationships, and to appreciate and use each others" strengths to compliment your own weaknesses and get the best out of each other. I am very lucky to have a beautiful family and some good friends around me and I am still learning more each day about how to nurture those inter-personal relationships.
In addition to having the boy at home, I also have a teenage step-daughter - a young girl with a big heart and brimming with potential, who I have had the pleasure of being a step-father to for ten years. It is a challenging time; those with teenage children will be nodding (and thinking of words I would not print here to replace challenging). I want to be a light, not a judge, a model, not a critic. I think if you adopt this mantra then the positivity that you radiate on those around you becomes infectious and comes back to you many times over.
Raising Standards
I keep a second blog, for personal use only, which is a note-based journal from a couple of books that I have used to help inspire and propel me towards achieving the life I feel is my destiny. I mentioned author Antony Robbins (Awaken the Giant Within) last time and the recently late Stephen Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People) is the other. I am not suggesting that the only way to achieving what you want from life is to read these two books, but I have found them both full of some very sensible and accessible views and advice. I had previously been a cynic of the field of personal development/self-help literature, but these guys have had so much success with an impressive list of clientele and I think they have something to offer almost everyone.
I have been guilty of letting slip some of my standards this weekend and want to focus back on the raised standards I mentioned previously. I was, I think, harshly judged (not harsh in the judgement as everyone is entitled to an opinion, but harsh in the sense of being judged at all) and the only thing I can do about it is accept responsibility, apologise, and listen and understand how I was perceived and what I did that offended.
To begin to put something positive into action, I will be writing down all the things I will no longer accept in my life, all the things I will no longer tolerate, and all the things I aspire to becoming. For all of you poker players out there, I think this type of exercise has so many transferable benefits. Nick Wealthall provides a bonus video, through the 12 month training course I am taking, discussing how to write a poker plan. I think both exercises will compliment each other.
The Hills
I am extremely privileged to live in such a scenic part of the World. Kendal sits to the south of the Lake District and is known as the Gateway. Our home sits in a cul-de-sac with views of 12th century Kendal Castle from our lounge and as I leave for work every morning and look to the North and the East, I can see the Lakeland fells. Just spending the one-and-a-half mile walk to work soaking some of that in, reminding myself of everything I have to be grateful for and to put a perspective on the first world problems in my life is a very rewarding half-hour. I read many blogs, tweets, and Facebook posts, with people who are very lucky to be where they are today, spending too much time bemoaning poor hotel service, travel headaches, or the turn of a card. Please deliver a very swift kick to my virtual knackers if you catch me using my blog to do the same.
The Blog
I have added some of the bells and whistles I said I would in my last post and I will continue to build on this. For now, I wanted to repay the kindness shown from a few readers from across the poker world and blogosphere by adding some links to their blogs. I have also added my Twitter account links where you will find blog updates linked and I promise to make a very big effort to be worthy of following - just give me a try for a few weeks to see what I tweet about. Please also either add me to your RSS feed or become a follower of the blog to stay with me on this journey.
I have a second website I am developing which will be purely for site referrals, reviews, and other online poker-site related news and items. This will not be just another affiliate-linked website, but a much more informative and, I hope, innovate in itself, source for poker players who find themselves at similar stakes and with similar requirements to me.
I was posed some very helpful questions by a very esteemed blogger I have followed for the last few years. He asked: what am I saying, why, and who am I saying it to? Why do they want to read about it? The answer currently is I want to share with you my journey to becoming a more effective person and poker player in the hope that I can inspire and entertain you for a few minutes of your day. I really want to reach out to as many people as I can who are also challenged in the same areas of their life as I am and to get their involvement and views in return. I hope you want to read about it because you relate to it and you find the blog a source of camaraderie.
Personally, it helps me to hold myself accountable to you all, to record my thoughts and my goals for ongoing referral and for the purposes of focus. It"s also certainly a huge buzz to feel the warmth of the encouragement I have received so far.
Speed Poker
It would be churlish of me to not talk a little poker, especially considering the title of my blog. I have discovered Speed poker, on the ipoker network. You may know it as Rush or Zoom if you play your poker elsewhere on Poker Stars, or previously on Full Tilt. If I could use a single word to describe this game it would be "Wow".
How am I ever going to go back to playing standard 6-max cash now that I have found a way of playing over 200 hands per hour on a single table? One of my monthly targets is to maintain the first reward level on Black Belt Poker, a system rewarding "belt points" per dollar raked in return for access to a schedule of weekly freerolls with some very enticing prizes and spending points to use in their store on merchandise, poker training, and online tournament tokens. Playing Speed poker will be the most effective way of doing this, as the stakes I currently play at for cash would mean quite a considerable investment of time, or number of tables to play, to maintain my Orange Belt month after month. To add an update to this before publishing, Black Belt added a new tournament on trial called the Nightly Nifty, an opportunity to trade in 50 points for an entry token and compete for more points. A second place finish in the second of two tournaments I entered means that I have now earned my target points for this month and will remain Orange Belt for October and November and have two months in which to earn my target to hold for December.
The adrenaline from playing Speed poker has given me two immediate advantages; I can play a lot more hands per hour which means that I can learn much more quickly through the repetition of putting myself in the same situations over and over - repetition is the Mother of skill. Also, the thrill of playing this game is more fuel to the fire, which all adds to the drive and determination I have to get better and become a consistent winner. There are some opinions that the game has some negatives and I will talk more on those as my experience of the game grows.
Ninja
This week I had planned to play some of Black Belt Poker"s online Ninja series, with one event per evening, aimed at the lower-stakes player, hosted by one of the Black Belt pros. The bounty for busting the host is a ticket to the £50 Sunday night Main. Unfortunately, I only ended up playing two events - a virus put me out of action on Tuesday and Wednesday with a friend recommending I look at installing a better Firewall (don"t give up the day job for a career in stand-up) and Friday night was The Piranha"s birthday, so Saturday and Sunday were reserved for recovery days.
I played a couple of satellites for a couple of these events. With 5 minute blinds, my experience of playing turbo STTs meant that I felt a considerable advantage going into these. I was a little distracted last Thursday from playing a couple of other tournaments, The Mulligan - a $15 deep-stack, and the $5k GP on ipoker. In the end, I ran 22 into KK when short, and lost AK to AQ in the earlier game. I had been 3/100 in the 5k and led The Mulligan by some way for a considerable time, only to end up min-cashing in both. I have posted three hands from the 5k up on the Black Belt boards and the advice given in reply has been very useful and I thank those who have contributed to that.
On a very wet Sunday afternoon, I decided to try one more satellite to the #2 Ninja event, a $25 deepstack, for only $3. After bobbing around the average and then going on shove-mode with less than 20bbs, I was called by AT with AQ, when getting it in for the third hand in a row. I then went from about 3k to over 8k in just a few hands, dropping back a little when 77 couldn"t beat AJ v AJ when a J came on the river. I felt that winning that hand would have put me out of sight. Unfortunately, I then tilted off my last 20bbs when 3-bet from the BU after opening with 99 and despite feeling sure I was way behind, I inexplicably shoved my stack and got called by KK. An old habit which I have done well to curb recently, but has obviously not been stamped entirely.
I did make 4th in the ninja#1 - a $10+$1 event with 120+ runners last night. Thanks to all for providing one of the most competitive small-stakes games online, to Black Belt Poker for putting the series on, to Kevin Williams for hosting ninja #1, and to Paul Seaton at The Poker Deck for his support.
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The Difficult Second Blog Title
Life
"Life, oh life, oh life, oh life doo,
doot doot dooo. Life, oh life,
oh life doo, doot dooo".
Lyrics to Life, by Des"ree
Wise words indeed.
That is just genius ;D
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Coffee Is For Closers
Soy un perdedor
I"m a loser baby, so why don"t you kill me?
(Double-barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdidor
I"m a loser baby, so why don"t you kill me?
Lyrics to Loser, Beck
Joey Barton inspired my title this week as he had tweeted asking for opinions on a film choice. We had been talking in the office only a couple of weeks ago about the incredible screenplay that is Glengarry Glen Ross. For those who do not know the film I urge you to take a couple of hours, preferably on a dark and rainy afternoon or evening, and watch it. If, like me, you have been searching for motivation and more so, inspiration, (the differences of which I will come to) then the scene delivered primarily by Alec Baldwin, described by one critic as justifying his entire career, will certainly serve to focus you towards your goals.
For those who already know the film:
"Put. That coffee. Down. Coffee"s for closers only."
Blake (Alec Baldwin), Glengarry Glen Ross
Closing
"A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING."
Blake (Alec Baldwin), Glengarry Glen Ross
I have been playing MTTs in the main over the last couple of years now, since my very frustrating but fairly standard break-even thousand game run at playing low-stakes STTs over two years ago. Reviewing my MTT form from last year and my current run of form it seems that my biggest leak, when looking at the tournament as a whole, is my failure to close. In my professional life I am a salesman. Being entirely honest, my ability to close in the past has not always been great, sometimes for similar reasons that I have identified in my poker game.
The first reason I think is to do with keeping my eye on the prize. I want/have wanted to win, but have I really been motivated and focused enough on why and what it would mean to me to win, what it would feel like, and how things would be different for me when I do win?
In the online poker world, where the next tournament is only a button-click away and the low-stakes tournament first prizes can be anything as low as $300/£185 it is easy to see how not winning can be dealt with quite easily. The first prize money would not change my life significantly, although it may have an impact on my very immediate future. If I don"t win, I can try and win again immediately, or tomorrow night. I might still be running well in another tournament alongside the one I am about to bust in, so there is still hope I could cash well in this session. Maybe I have never had enough scarcity in my life to be truly motivated by money.
On further review, it seems that my controlled pre-flop aggression is getting me deep in tournaments on a regular basis but that perhaps I am not adjusting enough toward the later stages and taking on a gamble when I could just fold pre-flop, often compounding my error and not folding post-flop either.
I realise also that I have to be careful that I am not over-evaluating my losses and that in some cases I may have just made a good decision but ran into the top end of an opponents range and lost and that the decisions I made pre-flop and post-flop had sound logic. For this, I will be posting more hands on the Blackbelt Poker forum hand tab for discussion amongst the community players and building into my post-session evaluation some work on equity calculations, using Pokerstove.
Instincts
Last Monday night I joined a limited group webinar, hosted by Jared Tendler - author of The Mental Game of Poker and regarded by Jessie May in this quote "as far as I am concerned he invented the field". A question I posed to Jared before the session concerned my occasional predisposition to call or shove when "I know I am beat". Jared"s response referred to a need to train the mental muscle enough to turn this into a habit of folding. He also suggested that in some of these spots I may have been right to call or shove and just ran into a part of a range I was losing too, as I have already alluded to.
In a tournament last week I had not been running a HUD, as a trial period on HM2 had come to an end and I didn"t have available funds to purchase the full package immediately. I had been distracted from the table at times (although I did better at noticing this quickly and then refocusing), and regardless I had not been sat at this table for a long time, so think my instinct about the strength of my opponents pocket cards should have been trusted. Perhaps I had not had my eye on the prize enough - despite thinking how it would be a nice score and how I felt having more than double the average stack and being in the top twenty chip stacks with 200 players left meant I had a real shot. In the end, I gambled where I could have folded pre-flop, compounded my error post-flop, and all but finished by run at a big cash there and then.
Coming back to an earlier thought, I need to start to visualise much more strongly how winning will feel and how it will affect me. What will that bigger bankroll, or if I cash out the realised money, actually mean to me? I am going to actualise the win by turning the prize money into something real and then I"m going to walk over to the coffee machine, pour a cup, and drink it when I do win - metaphorically speaking of course. This also goes back to something I was taught early in my sales career about the need to celebrate a win, to realise the attainment of a goal as part of your ongoing motivation to achieve the next, bigger goal.
To begin with I can think of some needs around the house and some more exciting social occasions that I would like to attend, which I am financially constrained from doing. This means more to me than an inflated bankroll and a chance to step up a buy-in, so I will prioritise them, write them down, and then focus my eyes back firmly on those prizes.
Planning for Poker
As a supplement to the excellent training I am undertaking with Nick Wealthall, there is a video discussing the setting of poker goals. There is some excellent advice on how to set longer and shorter term goals - beginning with the end in mind, followed by putting first things first - both habits that Stephen Covey discusses as two of the The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People.
To put first things first I have begun to look at what I want to achieve in the very session I have coming up. So that I am aligning my coaching with my playing goals I am focusing on pre-flop aggression - 3-betting, defending against other 3-bettors, and 4-betting. I have set myself three or four session goals which I am looking to achieve this week and next, before I move on within the coaching program following delivery of the second month"s content.
With regards to the longer-term goals, over twelve months and three months, I have split them into coaching goals and playing goals. One very interesting myth-busting comment from Jared was that having monetary or results-based goals is actually a good thing in poker. Lots of people will tell you that we should only focus on that which we have immediate control over - how we play and how we learn. The results belong in the hands of the Poker Gods. However, I can now see how this is untrue and how motivating having a results-based goal is. When Richard Branson set-up, or first dreamt about his Virgin Galactic venture, I"d wager that he simply wanted to get into Space - the end was firmly in his mind. This would have been followed by the how. I am therefore going to revise some of my goals to include successes and results, not just approach and discipline-based goals.
Motivation and Inspiration
Jared describes these two as being quite different. Motivation is the end goal and the understanding and visualisation of what it will bring you - winning the WSOP would be a motivation, or a slightly more realistic one would be becoming a sponsored pro. The inspiration would be those boosts that you need to keep you on the path to your goal - reading an inspirational speech or quote, listening to a piece of music, looking at a picture of the prize you desire/what the prize money will buy you, or maybe a picture of your smiling family.
There could be an argument that if you have clearly defined your goals and completely understand what they will mean to you when you realise them, then just a quick refocus or visualisation will be inspiration enough. Jared referred to the sportsman on the field of play, who when facing their biggest challenge, sucks in a deep breath and looks at the ground. This is not their head-dropping in the face of adversity, but them digging deep, searching for that inspiration to drive them towards their motivation. Clear goals mean that the digging is never required to be very deep at all.
Until next time, I"m putting my coffee down and setting a goal to pick it back up very soon - as a closer.
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Excellent post Mark, quite thought provoking actually.
One thing I would add to that is the improtance of enjoying playing poker. It is all too easy to be clinical about coaching, goals and achievements, but if along the way to your ultimate target, you do not get a level of enjoyment from the journey, then you only make the road a lot tougher to travel.
Sounds like you have a clear poker plan on the horizon, so good luck with meeting those challenges head on.
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Gr8 read Mark,
hope you have the stamina to keep this going!
where others" have failed ::)
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One thing I would add to that is the improtance of enjoying playing poker. It is all too easy to be clinical about coaching, goals and achievements, but if along the way to your ultimate target, you do not get a level of enjoyment from the journey, then you only make the road a lot tougher to travel.
Excellent point Leigh and it was actually a free video from Nick, that I mention in my first blog post:
"Nick also delivers on the topic of mental game and the only video of his that I have watched to date was pivotal in focusing me back on playing poker, as opposed to clicking buttons. The advice I recall was simply - enjoy playing, enjoy the challenge, and if you don"t then go and do something else where you do."
It was the spark I needed to get focused again. It set me on my way. I have actually kinda not enjoyed playing the last two sessions and was going to take a four day break, but I was presented with a free night last night....and went onto take down a $1.2k GP for $311 from $2 in against 786 players. I think that is, as they say, a bink!
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You write very well. Looking forward to see how you get on.
This level of self discipline and attention to detail can only be beneficial - in poker and, more importantly, life in general.
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Whilst your attention to detail is something I could never match, I do admire the way you wholeheartedly throw yourself into this (poker and blogging)
Really pleased that you have had some good results as a reward for your efforts.
Keep it up!!
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And just to put a few minds at rest, I really enjoyed both playing and winning.
lol, sly dig :p
In all seriousness, I admire your dedication and wish you all the best. I only wish i could find the same dedication to online poker, i really do.
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Not so much a dig Stu (maybe a bit sly ;)), but I realise it comes across as a bit heavy if I look from the outside in. I don"t wany mt blog to become boring and hardwork to read, so I will look to go a little lighter next time.
Thanks for reading and for all the comments - it is that which encourages me to keep writing, as well as for keeping a personal record.
I have been a bit slack with this post-session evaluation, but did one last night and mainly marked myself poor or very poor in all areas. I just wasn"t feeling it last night and strived to pull myself out of it, but really struggled. I was maybe a bit harsh on myself due, partly being results-orientated, as I actually got it in good with AQ v A5 v A3 and busted, made a very decent 4-bet semi-bluff and elicited a fold, and made an OK call with ATs v 22 to lose a flip. I did donk off chips in two other tourneys though, one was a very poor river shove when I could have only got called by better and did.
The hand history analysis hasn"t been happening either as I have been finding myself running out of time or motivation at the end of the week to do it. I have got an online training session with Jamie Burland on note-taking and equity calculations to watch so will try to fit this in soon and hope it inspires me in this area. Analysis seems to take me a long-time and I really could do with some pointers on how to have a productive and concise session.
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I Wish
"I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a "64 Impala"
Skee-lo - lyrics to "I Wish"
Instead of spending this time on the dawn of a New Year thinking solely ahead towards hopes, dreams, and achievements I want to target, I prefer to begin with a very simple thought. It is not a revelation. It is something you have thought many times before yourself. That is why I like to refer to this thought again now.
Instead of setting about new goals and making resolutions, why not first just take a minute to look around you and your life as it is today. The friends, family, and other acquaintances in your life. The abundance you no doubt benefit from in relation to the vast majority of others who have so little. The small things in life that make your day - from a simple walk, to a nice meal, a conversation, a smile from a loved one. Soak it all up. It is these things that enrich our lives.
I am not going to knock any individual here and I am not going to judge where people get their happiness from. In the past, I would have looked at some of the very successful poker players I read about in magazines and follow on Twitter and cast an envious eye at their baller lifestyles. I am sure many of them take great enjoyment from the lavish excesses their success in poker allows them to experience. What we all know is, that money does not buy happiness. For every player having the time of their lives, there will be another who has seen it all fall away, or feels empty when they take a look around and find there is something missing despite having "everything". To that first group, I say congratulations and long may it continue for you. To those who have aspired to follow them, I say do so if you know it can bring you what you want in life, but do so with caution and first take an inventory of your life today.
There are many things I would like to try and achieve, but I have never been one for a bucket-list type approach to life. Swimming with dolphins is not on the list - Karl Pilkington offered his own concern in case he "got a snidey one". I would like to be a better person, be more successful, and find contentment in every area of life. I think the best place to start down that road is appreciating those little things and avoiding getting caught up in the thick of thin things.
Poker Goals
I have set about some poker goals, as I divulged in a previous writing and have just finished refining them. They include having identified some new areas for training and education, ongoing analysis of my game post-session, and trying to satellite into some of the local UK live events I have targeted from the GUKPT and Genting series.
In the meantime, I will continue to take the Breakthrough Poker Coaching course I have enjoyed so much and try to adapt the new learning into my poker game. I am now trying to fire up a few players through a Skype group so we can share hand histories and talk a little deeper about the material and how our game evolves because of it. I am also going to keep focusing on mental game and have started a few threads online to take a workbook approach to completing some material in the hope that others will join me.
Personal Goals
I also have some personal goals. The first quarter of this year is going to be about discovery for me. I want to be in a position at the end of that three months to have some answers to some of the many questions I have about the future. Much of these questions are career-related as I have found a lot of contentment in my personal life.
I have made some more minor/straight-forward goals - less time on social networking and more time getting back to reading, getting back into my self-learning Spanish language course, and taking a step-forward with fitness by building in another exercise beyond walking. I did receive a surprise package at home a few days ago, a vibration plate from the Piranha"s sister for the family to use. If anyone has used one or knows anything about them I would be happy to hear from you. All I really know so far is it is hilarious watching someone else on one.
2011 closed on the arrival of my son, Roscoe, who has brought immeasurable happiness into my life. Unfortunately 2012 closed with a very difficult time as the pregnancy of our second child ended in the very early stages. I do not ask for any individual messages of sympathy here. We have dealt with this and are now moving forward. We are going to try again and when a brother or sister for our boy, and for my step-daughter Holly, is born then their life would only have been possible because of what happened.
Do not wonder what 2013 has in store for you. Do not live your life on a wish. Make it happen for yourself and maintain a positive mental approach throughout everything that you experience along the way.
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Read this last night and again today. An excellent post and food for thought.
Am reading The Chimp Paradox at the moment. Written by Steve Peters who was the "mental" coach for the GB Olympic cycling teams. I think you would enjoy it.
Are you planning on playing any live APAT's this year?
2011 closed on the arrival of my son, Roscoe, who has brought immeasurable happiness into my life.
Roscoe is a lovely name, where does it come from?
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Mark - thank you very much for the comments and the book recommendation. I"m working my way through a pile at the moment, including motivational stuff. I"ll bear it in mind.
Check back to my opening post in this blog for song lyrics - "Roscoe" by Midlake, a folk band from Texas.
I plan to play APAT Scotland as it is nearest my home in the Lakes. Not sure I plan for any others, but if the roll is looking healthy I may do.
I"ll keep following your blog on here - my favourite of all of them. I reckon I need to get much more volume in but just not sure I can handle adding lots more tables straight away. I need to think about how I am going to do that. Just slowly slowly adding concepts to my game so I think adding tables now could hurt more than help.
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Keeping Your Head
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don"t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don"t give way to hating,
And yet don"t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you"ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build "em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds" worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that"s in it,
And - which is more - you"ll be a Man, my son!
If, Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)
Gambling
I"m not a gambler. I don"t find much fun in playing a game of pool without there being a pound or two riding on the outcome. I ocassionally like to have a pound on a football accumulator at the weekend for interest. I did a couple of £10 challenges trying to roll it up to £100 and had two "big" bets to push me over my target that both failed. I didn"t try a third time. I have put the odd £5 in a roulette machine and cashed out at £10. I"ve played blackjack in a casino once and lost £40. I put $100 on the roulette table in Vegas and blew the lot in three spins. I"m not a gambler. I do like to gamble though.
Maybe the truth is that I could easily have been a gambler, but there is a cautious side to me that feels I have much more to lose which overcomes the lure of the gain I stand to make. Maybe I also realise that I don"t have an edge in any one particular field to gamble to win, rather than just for fun. Of course, I also gamble three or four nights a week when I invest about fifteen dollars across five or six small stakes poker tournaments online and I think I have an edge in these games. . This is not the place to take up the argument whether poker is gambling or not, but to say that it is fits with my theme.
The relevance of this introduction is that I have been wondering recently whether I gamble too much in certain spots in online MTTs. I"ll come on this more in due course.
Sanity Check
I was originally going to make this piece a simple forum post, but felt I could stretch the whole thing out and find a blog idea when ideas are short. The games I play are on the biggest European network, ipoker, and online casino and sports betting site, 888.com. I play there because I think the fields are soft, the tournaments are run at convenient hours and end early enough to get a good night"s sleep before real-life work begins, and I believe that there are too many gamblers which I can exploit, especially on 888.com. I have had moderate success in tournaments on both sites, but am losing on ipoker at -22% ROI over 138 tournaments and winning on 888.com over 215 tournaments at 101% ROI for a total profit of $564. The hourly rate will be very poor, but this is a hobby not a job so I"m not going to concern myself with that as my time has undoubtedly been spent improving my game, increasing my edge, and most of all enjoying the game.
I started taking up the coaching course I often reference in late September so have filtered results since beginning of October 2012. I have played 114 tournaments across the two sites and made a profit of $96 which makes a total 84% ROI over this small sample size. Again, most of my profit comes from 888.com where I have a huge 306% ROI in this time due to a win in a £1.2k GP for $311. This is as much a sanity check as anything so thank you for bearing with me through those numbers.
Variance
I am almost certainly running through a bad patch of variance despite results indicating that I haven"t had too bad a time of it. Of course, one of the problems with running bad is that it inevitably becomes a time to reflect on whether we are playing badly too - becoming results orientated is a danger. I have been questioning whether I am taking too many gambles in mid-late stages of tournaments when playing a stack of around 30 big blinds and under. I think my push/shove game is not too far off and I mostly make good decisions. I have kindly been pointed in the direction of a very helpful piece of equity calculation work which I am yet to use.
My gift, in return, to fellow MTT players: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/23/small-stakes-mtt/updated-pushbot-spreadsheet-1000-post-thank-you-824728/.
Recently, when sharing hand histories online for feedback on questionable spots, I note that there is an often used reply "I would wait for a better spot". I think that there are times when this phrase is thrown around but not always with enough substance behind it, like many other stock comments poker players like to throw around. I have been of the opinion that pushing small edges to accumulate chips in tournaments is mostly a good idea but also dependant on your edge or lack of edge over the opponent in question or table you are sat at. A previously sponsored pro player that I had some chats with suggested that he rarely folds AK in pre-flop all-in spots in these games as opponents can often show AQ/AJ or worse and he would gladly take a flip for a stack otherwise. I might not always agree with that, but with dead money in the pot I am rarely going to fold unless I feel strongly that my opponent has me crushed with KK or AA.
Flipping & Moaning
There is another well worn statement that you "have to win a few flips to win a tournament" and that has got to be true most of the time I think, even if we don"t actually mean what most of us know as "a flip", an AK v small pocket pair type spot. We are going to have to often win hands where we have an unpaired hand vs "two live cards", AJ v QT would be an example. We might have to hold when we dominate with AT v A5. We might also need Aces to hold, but let"s not go silly expecting the impossible! This last comment might count as a moan, but I think I may have got away with it. In fact, I hope that this whole blog does not come across as an excuse for a "bad beat" story, unless by doing so I manage to moan one in - I"ll take "em anyway I can get "em.
Undoubtedly, volume is a key element to acheiving a good long-term ROI. If we only play one tournament a month and never make the cash that is not so surprising. If we play hundreds, or thousands of tournament across the year we should be closer to acheiving a true return based upon our edge, or lack of edge, in the games we play. It is always difficult to keep perspective here, as one man"s monthly volume could be another"s weekly or even daily volume. Many players think they are on a downswing or that they understand variance, but you only have your own experience of it. You can look at the swings other players endure through online tracking sites, such as sharkscope.com and pokerprolabs.com, and measure the biggest winners ROI percentages.
The Upside of Variance
Despite all this, it remains difficult not to let the variance get you down. When you put in seven or eight sessions over a fortnight, feeling sick when AA comes third in a three-way showdown, lose endless crucial flips, run your AQ into AK again when open-shoving, and face opponents calling off with such little equity and still getting there, it feels like a long-time losing. In reality it probably isn"t and the sanity check brings me back to earth as is its purpose, showing me that I am winning at a reasonable rate. It is also easy to forget that when you do win, although you may not have won any of the outrageous all-ins you usually lose but never get in yourself as you don"t call off in the same situations, you still may have found some very fortunate spots where you flopped a flush vs a straight, or set over set. This can also be attributed to variance, or being on the right-side of a cold-deck. Did I mention I have been getting cold-decked often too?
Be Proactive
The great thing about online poker is it"s always there, so you can take a break and come back to it if that"s what you feel the need to do. You can always spend time improving. You can read more, take a more focused approach to different aspects of your game, join in with online discussions, post hand histories, work on equity calculations, or you could just clear your mind of poker completely. I have a business idea I have been meaning to crack on with for the last year. It"s not going to make me a fortune but it might keep my reward levels through referrals and it is another outlet to get my blog and other ongoing discussions going. You"ve probably guessed it"s a referral site, but it certainly won"t just be one full of links to a multitude of poker sites that look smuch the same as every other affiiliate site out there. When it ready to go live I will publicise the link here and I hope you will take a look and that I can keep coming up with original content for you to make regular return visits.
#lovethegame
Something I talk about a lot is inspiration. Finding that spark to reignite your quest for the goals you have set yourself. I found something which greatly inspired me recently, such was the story, the writing, and the passion. If you can find your way over to this it really is worth reading from the start, although it is a mammoth task to get through the lot so you may want to skip it in parts.
Alex Goulder is a young live pro cash grinder who has had a journey from the 50p/£1 cash tables at Dusk til Dawn, life with the other Nottingham rounders, tournament highs, variance lows, motoring mishaps, a mysterious Eastern European lady, hilarious videos, croquet, Countdown, choirs, travels across several continents with great trip reports, crafty prop bets, and even a lost cat incident.
http://blondepoker.com/forum/index.php?topic=51305.0
I am always trying to make more friends in the game too. It is one of the reasons why I spend a lot of time on forums and twitter. I"ve found that by cross-posting over a few forums the feedback multiplies and the range of insights is greater. When you make new friends in this game your resources expand, your knowledge base increases, and you learn more. You have to give something of yourself first though. That is what keeps me writing this blog, contributing to forum discussion, starting new threads, and posting interesting hand histories not only for my benefit but those I think will reveal interesting discusssion which can help others. You get out what you put in.
Summary
You might not be running as bad as you think, you need to gain perspective and can use tracking sites to see what are the winning rates for those who are putting in volume and what kind of swings they experience along the way.
Do not always assume you are running badly. Keep working at your game and look for areas where you can make improvements.
Variance works both ways and you may have run well at times, and the deck has been stacked in some situations where someone else was on the wrong side of a cold-deck to help you on your way to a score.
If it at get"s on top of you, you can take time out and put your energies into something away from the tables.
Contribute to the game and the returns will be plentiful
Here endeth my February sermon.
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And this from The Mad Genius that is Mike Caro on why we should suffer more bad beats thatn bad players and use them to our advantage - http://www.poker1.com/archives/1876
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I have updated my blog to include some the references above and link to the article by Mike Caro.
I would particularly welcome comments on these two items. Your time and feedback will be appreciated.