Amateur Poker Association & Tour
Poker Forum => General Discussion => Member Blogs => Topic started by: samuel_9 on February 25, 2011, 10:25:57 AM
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ok iv been reading all the posts and have decided 2 do 1 . im going 2 start it on sunday so stay tuned .im shure it will bring back a few memories for some of a certain age groop.And yous can have a giggle.You will have 2 excuse the spelling errors as my better have usuley dose it for me . So till sunday .. :-* :-* :-* alll APATERS..When i was just a little boy i asked my mummy what would i be would i be hansom would i be rich when i am 63 k sara sara what ever will be will be the futers not ours 2 c k sara sara.............im not 63 yet not like some old APATERS and iv still got hair AMRN ;) ;).. ;D ;D.see yous on sunday BY FOR NOW.... O..... AND ALL MY LOVE TILL HOO EVER WANTS IT. :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* ;D
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This has the potential to be legendary.
Good luck with this Ray.
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Best of luck Ray and I hope everyone takes your blog at face value. Looking forward to it :)
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Whilst we wait for chapter one of Ray"s blog, I have a few suggestions for titles :-
Ray of Light
or
As the Crowe flies
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Can we ban the use of smilies? ;D *
*Irony
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Can we ban the use of smilies? ;D *
*Irony
i for got i dont have teeth ;)
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OK going 2try and do this rite.IM going 2 do this in 5 chapters as im now HALF a century old thats 25? .MY 10 year old son has just said 2 me thats not how you spell HALF .I had wrote HAVE. This is going 2 take a wile .NOW every thing im about 2 WRITE is TRUE no messing about they are TRUE STORYS.....LIEGH ill be useing both of your headings and a few more.RAY OF LIGHT you have hit this one rite on the HEAD. This will be chapter 2. SO i hope yous enjoy see yous later
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can not wait for this blog :)
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Ray, could you post a picture of yourself on here please.
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Ray, could you post a picture of yourself on here please.
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/_KJLieIUxMJY/Swa0uctwzUI/AAAAAAAAeSI/GiRTUke7TS0/s1152/IMG_3033.JPG)
Ray (far left) as part of the Northern Ireland Team at Luton in the APAT European Team Championship in 2009.
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tku leigh
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Looking forward to this Ray, should be a goodun....
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ok lets get started hope yous enjoy.my name RAYMOND CROWE born in belfast 1960 one of seven kids three brothers and three sisters dad was a part timer.. Now that makes me 25 years old? ;).the first thing that i can remember was my third chirstmas it was xmas eve rite time for santas comeing 2maro. So of we go up the stairs daddy tucked us in 4boys in one bed 2at the bottem and 2 at the top smelly feet up your nose and all that..Anyway i could not sleep i wanted 2 see santaclause he must have lived down the street cause he went 2 everyones house.SO i decide 2 sit at the top of the stairs.OK im sitting there for ages no santa.THEN brother appears .What r you doing daddys going 2 kill u.NO hes not im waiting for santa.SO bro sits with me. KNOCK on the door.bro sushs its santa.WELL all we seen was the big black boots the big long over coat NOW as santa walk into the liveing room wee seen a big white bun on his head.WELL me and the bro sitting hands closed as if wee where praying .i wounder wat santa has brougt us .then i here a bussing nose so i turned to my left and there it was a monster a big daddy long legs.Well did i jump write 2 the bottom crash bag wolup CLUNK on floor at the bottom. DAD comes out what r u doing theres a monster up stairs. WELL the bro is wetting him self at the top of the stairs because i fell down the stairsWELLit was daddys turn YOU GET TO BED like lightning in to bed HE goes .DAD where you sitting on the stairs yes i want 2 see santa MOTHER bring him in hes 2 young 2 remember WROUNG.SO dad carrys me in sets me on the chair now dont move those famous words? oi dead on da up of the chair over to the tree now santa had his back 2 me he was putting MY presents under the tree then he stands up and i pulled his coat hi santa SO santa turned round who was it my GRANNY.the only time i ever seen her. lovely memory granny sant.RIGHT now they let me out doors meet the neighbours to the right the morrisons to the left old bitch cause every time our ball went in her garden she busted it about 30 ball we went thru ;) so after about a year wee got our own back a dog had done a keek on the footpath so wee rolled the ball in it WELL she dident bost that one she dident even lift that here son come and get your ball son from the top window of the house comes a basin of water write over me old bitch.I never went in again?i only 2 reck her flowers.NOW the morrisons good lads very good lads looked after there mummy very well she was a lovley wee women 4foot 1or2 wee round women but one day she put hair laker on her hair then opend the oven door and yes up it went THE HAIR runs into the street and theres this women passing big red head built like a brick carrier anyway2 days later out of the house comes BOLDY miss morrison .WELLdown comes the red head standing haveing a chat then all wee here is you you bitch come here well another red head well she legged it down an ally way deadend oops they beat the c r a p out of eachother it took about six or seven men till seperate them cat fight it wasen more like 2 body builders but mad .NOW across the street lived MARGARET dont no her other name wee called here monkey girl y well she climbed LAMPOSTS like a monkey ANYWAY she was about 11 or 12 and all the lads used to look up her skirt and i dident no y?well i was only 4 but i found out later on in years that there was someting under the skirt call? :o :o heaven tku ladies.... NOW a few years later me and the bro went to the boxing club down the road thats where i firt heard the biger they r the harder they fall.THEN the troubles broke out in belfast dad was having none of it so of wee went moved till the country a placed called COUNTY ANTRIM .NOW wee where city kids never seen the country side well there was wild life galore rabbits hairs/ rats? frogs checkens rosters horses goats badgers newuts the six mile river and a forest .WELL we broght trouble to the door more than my dad needed. NOW wile wee lived there i had a few fights but one big lad give me a right beating well we moved again back 2 belfast and wee went 2 a school called THE BOYS MODLE no modle pupiles just hard knocks if you dident learn fast they just stamped allover you well i did and they dident .BUT wee dident stay there 2long 6 months i think on the move again this time to GLENGORMLEY.................NOW this is where i have 2 stop cos by this time in 13 and thats where my lfe changes.in so many ways...stay tuned.will try and do the next one in a couple of days .RAY
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Ment to finish with this the name of my next post will be...RAY OF LIGHT CAN DODGE BULITS BABY
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hey ray, all the best for this and 2011 i"ll be keeping an eye out for the next chapter
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Ray, could you post a picture of yourself on here please.
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/_KJLieIUxMJY/Swa0uctwzUI/AAAAAAAAeSI/GiRTUke7TS0/s1152/IMG_3033.JPG)
Ray (far left) as part of the Northern Ireland Team at Luton in the APAT European Team Championship in 2009.
Thanks Leigh.
Ray, met you a few times at APAT events but not at the same table IIRC.
Looking forward to the blog.
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every time our ball went in her garden she busted it
Mrs Byrne across the road from us used to do the same. Maybe it"s an Irish thing.
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Ray, could you post a picture of yourself on here please.
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/_KJLieIUxMJY/Swa0uctwzUI/AAAAAAAAeSI/GiRTUke7TS0/s1152/IMG_3033.JPG)
Ray (far left) as part of the Northern Ireland Team at Luton in the APAT European Team Championship in 2009.
Who are the others? ???
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every time our ball went in her garden she busted it
Mrs Byrne across the road from us used to do the same. Maybe it"s an Irish thing.
Me Ma sez sorry John
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ok lets get started hope yous enjoy.my name RAYMOND CROWE born in belfast 1960 one of seven kids three brothers and three sisters dad was a part timer.. Now that makes me 25 years old? ;).the first thing that i can remember was my third chirstmas it was xmas eve rite time for santas comeing 2maro. So of we go up the stairs daddy tucked us in 4boys in one bed 2at the bottem and 2 at the top smelly feet up your nose and all that..Anyway i could not sleep i wanted 2 see santaclause he must have lived down the street cause he went 2 everyones house.SO i decide 2 sit at the top of the stairs.OK im sitting there for ages no santa.THEN brother appears .What r you doing daddys going 2 kill u.NO hes not im waiting for santa.SO bro sits with me. KNOCK on the door.bro sushs its santa.WELL all we seen was the big black boots the big long over coat NOW as santa walk into the liveing room wee seen a big white bun on his head.WELL me and the bro sitting hands closed as if wee where praying .i wounder wat santa has brougt us .then i here a bussing nose so i turned to my left and there it was a monster a big daddy long legs.Well did i jump write 2 the bottom crash bag wolup CLUNK on floor at the bottom. DAD comes out what r u doing theres a monster up stairs. WELL the bro is wetting him self at the top of the stairs because i fell down the stairsWELLit was daddys turn YOU GET TO BED like lightning in to bed HE goes .DAD where you sitting on the stairs yes i want 2 see santa MOTHER bring him in hes 2 young 2 remember WROUNG.SO dad carrys me in sets me on the chair now dont move those famous words? oi dead on da up of the chair over to the tree now santa had his back 2 me he was putting MY presents under the tree then he stands up and i pulled his coat hi santa SO santa turned round who was it my GRANNY.the only time i ever seen her. lovely memory granny sant.RIGHT now they let me out doors meet the neighbours to the right the morrisons to the left old bitch cause every time our ball went in her garden she busted it about 30 ball we went thru ;) so after about a year wee got our own back a dog had done a keek on the footpath so wee rolled the ball in it WELL she dident bost that one she dident even lift that here son come and get your ball son from the top window of the house comes a basin of water write over me old bitch.I never went in again?i only 2 reck her flowers.NOW the morrisons good lads very good lads looked after there mummy very well she was a lovley wee women 4foot 1or2 wee round women but one day she put hair laker on her hair then opend the oven door and yes up it went THE HAIR runs into the street and theres this women passing big red head built like a brick carrier anyway2 days later out of the house comes BOLDY miss morrison .WELLdown comes the red head standing haveing a chat then all wee here is you you bitch come here well another red head well she legged it down an ally way deadend oops they beat the c r a p out of eachother it took about six or seven men till seperate them cat fight it wasen more like 2 body builders but mad .NOW across the street lived MARGARET dont no her other name wee called here monkey girl y well she climbed LAMPOSTS like a monkey ANYWAY she was about 11 or 12 and all the lads used to look up her skirt and i dident no y?well i was only 4 but i found out later on in years that there was someting under the skirt call? :o :o heaven tku ladies.... NOW a few years later me and the bro went to the boxing club down the road thats where i firt heard the biger they r the harder they fall.THEN the troubles broke out in belfast dad was having none of it so of wee went moved till the country a placed called COUNTY ANTRIM .NOW wee where city kids never seen the country side well there was wild life galore rabbits hairs/ rats? frogs checkens rosters horses goats badgers newuts the six mile river and a forest .WELL we broght trouble to the door more than my dad needed. NOW wile wee lived there i had a few fights but one big lad give me a right beating well we moved again back 2 belfast and wee went 2 a school called THE BOYS MODLE no modle pupiles just hard knocks if you dident learn fast they just stamped allover you well i did and they dident .BUT wee dident stay there 2long 6 months i think on the move again this time to GLENGORMLEY.................NOW this is where i have 2 stop cos by this time in 13 and thats where my lfe changes.in so many ways...stay tuned.will try and do the next one in a couple of days .RAY
RAY OF LIGHT CAN DODGE BULLETS BABY......It is now 11.30 check the time and see how long it takes till right this .You must fallow the links while you are reading this and you will also see my sence of humor. Witch i think is second to none. Well here goes. I had being going 2 the school for about a year and just started the new term .Well lunch time came and whos in the play ground the big lad that give me a beating a few years ago now he was a big lad he was a good 6inchs above me and he thought he could dig me twice WROUNG i beat the C R ? P out of He dident try it a third time.NOW on the way home that day i was with micheal he called himself CLINT EASTWOOD what a DH y would you call yourself clint eastwood? Anyway on the way home wee where going to MR EASTWOODS house.Now CLINT was not aloud to chum around with me cause i was a bad influence .So im waiting round the corner for about 15minets Then i see my other brother joe and 2mates on the roof of a bungalow. SO of i go to see wat there doing Well there only trying to take the lead of the chimney pot .Well it was an old house just a shell 4 walls and a chimney in the middle and a portch. Well im walking through the house and i see the brother jumping down of the portch and he SHOUTS WATCH i look up .HAY PRESTO theres a chimney RIGHT ON MY HEAD........ MY other mate dident no i was there. THAT IS THE TRUTH .NOW YOU KNOW.what happened.it happened somthing like this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1H8fe3fVfk.NOW every time i here this song a have a laugh I think its halurios just those words.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN8kHIq0_Eo&feature=related.I think its nice that someone has taken the time to wright a song after me tku ;D. NOW my memorys of that day are some what. Shall wee say missing. I dont remember seeing it i never felt it hitting me i dont remember anything about it.BUT from what iv been told i was very lucky. THATS AN UNDERSTATMENT.....Now when my mate came down of the portch and seen me lying there ....Well ill tell you in his words.When i came of the portch and seen the chimney on your head i thought you where dead and i went to run then you started to move but when you lifted the chimney i saw a big hole in your head and blood was every where so i ran to get help. Now they where his words.Now after the accident they took the chimney away and weighed it. Why did they weigh. I dont no. But they did it weighed 14 stone. I only weighed 8 stone at the time .So i lifted the chimney of my head stood up and started to walk .I was walking something like a bloodie zombie.Thats what i was told.Anyway i staggered for about 30 yards an fell flat on my face. IT JUST WASENT MY DAY .HEHE.....Anyway a stranger lifed me and carried me for another 200 yards and lay me on the ground face down then left .I never got the chance to thank that man for saving my life and noone knows how he was he just left.Now heres where it get a bit funny.My brother runs into the house and says that 4 letter word Fk our raymonds had an accident.WELL me dad hit him for swearing and after my brother had camed down and told him what happened my dad run down the road 2 get me .DIDENT HE GET A SHOCK .. Now he wasent the first one there .There was a women in front of him. Well she tryed to lift me but when she turned me over .....SHE VAINTED....And droped me on my face AGAIN..........3times in 15 minets. REALY WASENT MY DAY. MY dad just sat at the side of the road PRAYING....my munm new nothing about it they dident tell her for 4 or 5 days cause she had been on tablets for her nerves.Well of wee go to the hospital .Now i dont remember anything.Now im on life support. i had a hole in my head the sice of a cricket ball i lost 7pints of blood 3 fingers an eye my theeth my gums and my jaw was smashed to bits. Now im on life support and i here These words.MR crowe if your sun survivses this he will PROBIBLEY be a CABBAGE?.........deadon doctor me dont think so.Now every my ticker stoped they brought me back. NOW your asking yourself how did i no iwas dead Well my dad tolsd me and 2 every time they where trying to start me again i had the same dream.And this was the dream. My dream was ....Laurel and Hardy sitting on a 72inch record going round and round laughing now upabove them was a man in white holding a lightbulb above his head and when the lightbulb litup so did I....RAY OF LIGHT. Now when i wokeup three weeks later the first thing i saw was my hand it was all bandaged up that hert cause i could NOT PICK my NOSE.... only joking.... .Now they moved me to ward 13 they put me in a room of my own and straped me to the bet. I dont no why i could not walk.Now i do remember the little staf nurse a wee indian women she got 2 nurses........ 2 nurses...to look after me they learnet me how to walk again..So when i was strong enough they took me till another hospial for more surgery. NOW this is as true as im sitting here writing this. IN my room in ward 13 there was a window in the ceiling i think they now call it a skylight .Anyway of i go till my new hostpital .Now i could see out of the ambulance and what do i see .MY dad going the otherway he had already been to the hostpital to see me.SILLY MAN.Anyway the next day.I remember it well.10.30 in the morning in walks my dada with the doctor from thr other hospital the man how saved my life.HE came over and said.IM so glad i had you moved to this hospital.Then he shook my hand and said something to my dad and left .Now i still could not talk but i think my face said it all .So my dad told me what was going on . Well there was a man who had been shot and they put him in ward 13 MY ROOM to recover but they came back and shot him through the skylight.RAY OF LIGHT CAN DODGE BULLETS BABY.....
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Incredible story Ray.
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And its all true and ill put my right hand to up to GOD
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Wow Ray, truly amazing story. Hoping the next chapter of your life finds lady luck smiling a little more.
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Wow Ray, just wow.
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ill have to finish my blog someday .but i was watching this program on monday and i cant stop thinking about it .so iv desided to post it o9n here and hopefuly it mite save someones live http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0103v9d/Dead_Fat/
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What happened to this? Please resurrect this blog.
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Anyway i staggered for about 30 yards an fell flat on my face. IT JUST WASENT MY DAY .HEHE
SHE VAINTED....And droped me on my face AGAIN..........3times in 15 minets. REALY WASENT MY DAY
Never saw this first time round but just an incredible survival story....and to still have that sense of humour is phenomenal 8) I"ll share a similar story on my blog Ray (doesn"t come close TBH but it"s similar to me in a personal survival sense) if you promise to get your blog up and running again!
PS The 2nd video in the original post above has gone now (damn copyright mongers at You Tube >:( )
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will do this very shorlty heads been up bum for a wile c u soooooooon. i thought the wife had read this she hadent .she has now and is haveing a rite giggle at my spelling.like in my first post i rote. straped to the bet .shoould have read strapped too the bed we r haveing a rite giggle BYBY
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VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERY 1
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ok trying 2 do this wile trying 2 play WSOP sat so here gose /my little time spent in hospial was a little/ wait just been told you spell little le not el /right /was a little eventful there was this man or women well used 2 be a man /now i was asked 2 take him or her up to the ladys ward in the lift /well i had not met this person before so when i was taken in to his room his own private room there he is dreesed it wat i call a pair of curtains/no them flowery dresses/sitting puting LIPSTICK on/wat the fk/well my knees went a littel bit funny /so he or she wat ever/ hops on a wheelchair and i push him into the lift 3 flights up /hes still putting on the /fkn LIPSTICK/MY KNEES ARE NOCKING/door opens and i push there u r by by/ left him there about an hour the nurse says can u go and get him /sorry im under my blancket/that was the last time i seen him or her / live and let live thats my moto/rite a few weeks had passed and in comes a young girl about 19 she had been hit with a petrol bome/well she was out in the balconnee getting some freshair /well her comes ME /HELO/and taps her on the leg /id only hit her burns/well she screamedand i run/passing dotors and nurses on the way back 2 bed /well idient no/DOCTOR says RAYMOND DONT TOUCH THAT GIRL AGAIN/me ok/i never seen her again ither//RITE am i getting home for xmass yes YO/home i go/ head size of a football /well i go in the back door home again nice just in time for my dinner wats on the menu /spagetty spagettyspagtteyspagttteyspppaaagggttteeey/id only been living on the blooming stuff for about 2 months /then comes the drink /rybeena and milk/wat the fk/id litrly lived of the stuff it was put in to my body by tube by seringe by the gallon i can still see the nurse standing pooring it down the funel by hook or by crook or by funel they got in /now i for got wer i was /rite remember now/after about ten mins of been home front doors is he coming out NO hes not aloud out/well 7oclock came time for dads darts out the back dorr he gos /out the front door i go/ i leged it run like the clapers/up to the mates /helo its me /IM BACK//////////////////ill do an other wee bit 2moroo c u soon /hay just realised him in the wheelchair must of had his wee thing done thats y he was sitting ooooo i bet that was sore by
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You"re a big man Ray, to be able to laugh like you do despite what you had to go through early in life. I take my hat off to you. Hope you and the family have a great New Year.
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tku very much des and a very happy new year to you and all APATERS /o/ by the way i need a new 888 hat mines away with the wind rite of my head can i get one next time i c u please /c u soooooooon
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Best blog on APAT
Please tell us more Ray.
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one thing i will say there is a lot worse of than me iv been very lucky in live /iv a loving wife and 2 kracking kids /live could not be any better / o/wait i still aint made day 2 of the APAT /YET/so on wee go/sex drugs and head banging music/ DES dont worry ill keep it clean/ ;) promise
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Best blog on APAT
Please tell us more Ray.
This - great reading.
Please keep it going this year as well. It would not be unexpected if we were reading about your first day two and a run to a final table. Hopefully you will manage to get in the correct seat at the start of each event as well ;-)
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ok lets jump/r u ready jump/comon get of ur bum and jump. go on do it .lets jump 20 years later.holdon .14 and 20 is 34/ rite /iwas 34 living in a place called rocketpool bilston n wolverhampton.anyway it was my birthday / rite party time/but i dident drink.so im sitting there boring ray with his glass of coke.when in come my mates /r u comeing with us /where/ darrens stag nite pup crawl/wev hired a bus /ok ill go/so of to the first pup what u haveing ray /coke please /what its ur birthday here have a pint /NO dont like beer / have a half of john smiths lager its nice/i thought lager and beer where 2 difrent drinks/i think thats what it was called /there was a big foamy head on it / it was lovley/so i necked it /rite back on the bus /mate coms over /here keep this for later /a we bag /ME /what is it /mate/dont worry well look after u/oops i dident like the sound of that /pup number 2 / ray its your round /my round what/HEHE/rays not stuped u by me a half a pint and want me to by u a full one ? /I DONT BY DRINK/what u mean/ u only got me a half now u want a full pint /DONT THINK SO/u by me another half and ill by u a pint at the next pup/ alrite ray/i mite be new to this game but im not stuped/so pup num 3/ray its ur round/ok/up too the bar / can i have 2 pints of john smith please/ its either smith or west cant remember/anyway 2pints of john smiths please/ barman/sorry WHAT U WANT/now he was sortof shouting it /again 2pints of john smith please/sorry WHAT/now i was tapping the beer i wanted /and to be onest it pissed me of a bit/mate comes over wheres my pint/the barman cant understand me/ME /HOLDON /so i turned and said //////can u lend me a fiver /barman i dont lend money/he understood that dh /rite can i have 2pints f john smiths please /tku/soo back to the table /mate/ what abut the rest of the lads/ WHAT /u have to by them a drink /fkn sure im not they dident by me1/theyll get u 1 at the next pup/ok /38quidWHAT/pints vodkas shots i think they where taking the pis/pup number 4/i get a FULL PINT of mr smiths necket it back on the bus pup num 5 /3.pints and im anybodys/ :-* i loved everyone /pup num 6 now when we left this pup i had a half of mr smiths on the bus a fella came over /here take that it will keep u awake /i am awake/no but this will keep u awake/so he pops it in my glass /ok i neck it/now u just dont see the time when your having fun/ so next stop /TINTINS in bermingham /mate comes over /wheres that we bag /what we bag/o that we bag /take that now it will keep u awake /nasty head on /IM NOT FKING SLEEPING IM AWAKE/just take it ray /ok/so ten mints later bus stops we all get of /i was WIDE AWAKE /now there was a littel fellow with us a littel thin fellow now where standing waiting to get in to this nite club there was about 25 till30 anyway i turned and the we thin fellows face had changed /now how do i put this/well his face was round /but wheni looked at it ;D it had turned into the shap of a V/it was like a wee fkn martian from outer space/fk i took a fit of laughter /but i could not stop/now by the time we got to the door i was still at it/well this BIG BIG door man was standing there /and he just smiled/well iv nothing againest anyone live and love everyone race creed or color love all /but when this BIG man smiled at me /i just seen his theeth he was a BIG rasta man /well i just seen the man from outer space wairing his theeth/i nearly keeled over with laughter /have u been here before/NO/well dont worry aboout anything/now heres thous fameus words again /WELL LOOK AFTER YOU/ok/so in we go upstairs /Well c how the other side lives/jesus/on the platform a poledancer wairing fishnet tights and top A FELLA /then 2 girls comeover /would u like to by 1/they where selling feather dusters/no them things women rapround there neck/but they wernt girls they where fellas tranfestites/a well live and let live/well i was out of my tree/ i think i just fell of the branch/anyway i needed the loo/now when i found it it was a pee pot in the middle of the room all the men in there dresses shooting at it /i legged it /was never going there nope never in a million years/now as the nite went on i started 2 yawn think it was about 230 /mate comes over /u cant be tired/iam/next thing BIG man comes over here take that it will liven u up A BIT/so i necked it /well after about 15mins /i start slideing down the wall where i was standing BIG fela comes over lifts me and carrys me UNDER his arm/just like a we rag doll/well he took me out side propt me against the wall /all i here was count till 9/beat thump start stop start stop thump take a drink of water /start stop start stop start stop/my ticker /have a drink /this went on for about 1hour 30 mins/ then all of a sudden /WALLOP/well the BIG man got very small all of a sudden/r u ok wee man/I LOVE U/ NOT ONLY DID FALL FROM MY TREE I MUST HAVE BANGED MY HEAD /i love u/jesus /well back in we go all the mates giveing it hell for leather on the dance floor to this thing call RAVE music well i cant dance to that im a slow dancer i like moving slowing on the dance floor/then u put ur hand on their bum and get a slap/ :-[/now wile the mates r giveing it hell for leather i became the drumer of the band standing beating the fk out of the wall/so i was taken down stairs now that was a strange place all body builders /well yous remember BENNY HILL /rite /do u remember the we boldy man/yous do/well there was 1 just like him in the club/and yes /Now a thought i was BENNY HILL/ did i slap him/ u better beleave it every time he past me/now wile i was down stairs all the gays where takeing there shirts of and showing thair musils so wat do i do /you gest it /i did to /but i started takeing the pis and got trailed back up stairs by the doormen by the scrof of the neck/so i start caming down a littel /then over come a young girl and we start talking /she understod everything i said which was amazing cos no other fkr could not even me /now she ended up setting on my nee she must have sat there a good 3 hours /then her booy friend came over and said/wait for it /CAN I HAVE MY BOYFRIEND BACK/he or she was fkn a trany and i dident no u could not tell the difrence/we live and learn dont we /any we all gott home about 9 in the morning still in party mood so wee got the pup to open and let us in wee where there all day/well the wee man from outer space came in /heres where rays scence of humor comes in /in he comes /well did u have a god nite/i dont remember how i got home/ ;) i do i seen him jump in a taxi/now no one had said anything /so i said did u drop that man home/what man/ the fella u left the club with /i dident go in to the club /u did and u left with a gay man/ well his jaw hit the floor then he went/well we sat and peed ourselfes/ but we dident se him again for i think it was about three weeks /so he comes into the bar with a suitcase/r u going on holaday/no the wife tru me out/y/ because i took a gay man home/she beleaved him /even worse he beleaved it /surely u would no if that happened /anyway i had to go and tell his wife it was a wined up/not only did she chase me she tru everything she could get her hands on/so i went back to the pup and told him his wife wants him /well some of the mates went round to the house and brougt them round to the pup/well im sitting there his face is brite red with anger /so i said /comon and a drink /so i got him a pint of the black stuff and his wife a vodka and coke/then i put my arms around to say SORRY/but wat do i do take a fit of laughter/and after about 30 secones they seen the funny sideof it/but all ended well they went happly married/AGAIN............i started riteing this at 11.30.its now 7.42 c u l8tr time for 888
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there was no sex :D
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Lol, mad! You"re a proper character Ray. Love the bit about the Martian :)
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:D "We"ll look after you"......sounds like they done a fantastic job ;)
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ray was at the doctors on friday .rite c u later
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well i went to see my doctor is was fun .so i was called. sit at the end of the coradoor please.wile a was walking down the coradoor i seen a coat and a hat standing at the end of the coradoor so when i got to the end i said helo .it was a hat and coat rack i was not whairing my specks. sitting out side waiting his room.door opens .helo mr crowe comeon in have a seat. so i do .how r u keeping r u keeping allrite .well if i was allrite i wouldent be in fkn here would i.wats ur problem .i dont have a problem do u .i mean wats roung with u .o rite. this hearing aid isent working rite. where is it.in my ear. can i have it.hand to ear. it isent there left it in the car with my glasses.so i go out to the car and hoos standing there.yep .mr trafic warden.well i went into to a rant and give a mouth full of abuse .well i had to apolojise.i thought he was taking a pictuer of my car .he was takeing a pictuer of the car behind mine .oops.so back in to the doctors give him the hearing aid. he put it on.and theres no noise .so i put it in my ear and there is feedback. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.very high pich noise.so he takes it and trys to ajust it .but i still have this noise n my head. so i told him .do u ever here hear this nois without ur hearing aid.yes .that and other noises.like wat.well a fortyfoot lorry driveing by. water running. a band playing. a hissing noise.droms beating.and the high pich noise most of the time.but its like stero in my head bouncing from one ear till the other .NOW .hes a very good doctor. he new wat it was strait away .TITNESS.in my ears.now this is a pig of a thing to have would not want anyone to have this.now iv to see a cosultant and try and sort it out .i thought it was my mind playing tricks.RAY became verybad tempered.RAY thought he was looseing it.RAYS not bad tempered anymore and hes not looseing it. RAY WILL get it sorted . ;) c u sooooooooon
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I"ll share a similar story on my blog Ray (doesn"t come close TBH but it"s similar to me in a personal survival sense) if you promise to get your blog up and running again!
As promised Ray, here"s my mini survival story. You"re an inspiration 8) http://www.apat.com/forum/index.php?topic=7664.msg167859#msg167859
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ok i dont do my poker hands because there is nothing but bad beats but this one takes the pis/// I HAVE 12000 CHIPS ///55quid freezout playing for about an hour plenty of fish at the table mostly fish me THE ROCK my hand QQ bbl blinds 75 /150 //i get 6 limps //i rase till 2000to stop the fish // 2 callers seat 7 and small bl calls flop//TS 7S 2C//i bet 3000 next boy calls small bl all in //i call next boy folds ///now if anyone can tell me what happens ill by u 3 pints when i c u on the tour /i will leave this on for 2 days happy thinking
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You were up against a guy with 2 clubs in his hand, neither which paired with the board and you lost to runner runner clubs?
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no rob fisrt he limps then calls a rase of 2000 then shoves on the T72 flop turn 7 gives me qq77 river 2 his cards 82OF wat in the name of fk //how do i stop this ///I DONT NO any help would be GREATLY aprishieated tku
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no rob fisrt he limps then calls a rase of 2000 then shoves on the T72 flop turn 7 gives me qq77 river 2 his cards 82OF wat in the name of fk //how do i stop this ///I DONT NO any help would be GREATLY aprishieated tku
I can only suggest he thinks you"ll lay down to his shove if he thinks you"re a rock Ray. You can"t help the cards that come out once your money"s in, he got very lucky as he only has 2 outs on river :(
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just try harder at running better next time
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3 or 4 years of this crap its like there coming from the grave 2 hunt me i think its time for a loooong brake
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how do you think I feel?? I missed out on 3 pints by getting this wrong ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Bad luck, Rob.
Ray, you just need to toughen up a bit. ;)
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;D ;) as arnie says ill be back
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;D ;) as arnie says ill be back
You"ve had more comebacks than Lindsay Lohan mate, you"re tougher than Arnie!
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helo its ray again
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ill be back shortlie
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About fecking time ;D
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It might take a little longer than originally planned. He typed it all out...and then lost it.
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rite just like to say sorry for not updateing this page iv been ask to so many times and havent done it .so here wee go .
where do i start?ok .ray rtired 3 years ago due to bad health no power in my arms and legs and my eyesite .so i retired when i was 50 on docters orders .aparentlie your body changes when your 50.mine just dident change it stoped working.doctor.stop working ray and enjoy your very early retirement .ok.i will.so i did. i felt like crap for near 2 years could not do a dam thing .then as i start to get better the wife slipted a disc in her back and has left her with drop foot sindrum now shes on cruches for the rest of her live. hospital realy screwedup.then my mum takes bad.so into hospital she goes with mentil health problems tablit tablits tablits.runing back and forward every day every other day get me this get me that clothes more clothses .it was like been on a shopping spree everyday.6months later HOME .no more tablits tablits tablits .well the fist day home was all tears so glad to have her home in her little bunggalow. the second day.odear.i want tablits i need cream i want iwant iwant get me it now .then the doctor rings me. ray iv had your mum shoutting down the phone .its ok shes phoned me at least 25 times in 2 hours .opps.so we put in place nurses to look after her.hehe .first one comes in .mum. hoo the hell are you. im your day nurse .hehe .mum getout i dont need a nurse .rays phoned .your mum wont take her tablits.ok.ill be down sooooooon.ok mum neck these tablits .okson.just like that. okson.night time same thing.neck them.okson.now the nurses come at all difrent times difrent nurses thay havent a clue what they are doing they wont pick her tablits up from the cemist they wont take them out of a papaer bag they must be under lockandkey they dident no witch ones to give her .there in a tray its says morning tablit and night time tablits why cant yous do this. JOBS WORTH TWATS.round and round we go.and its still the same now it feels like im looking after the nurses aswell as mum. i help my wife when she needs me witch is not very often even shes in bad pain most of the time.she is a wonderful women could not have picked a better one.now is ray still playing cards very very little. thats it .now iv started getting my strengh back i still feel like im going round in a tumble dryer round and round we go.BUT wouldent change it. its a very hard chalenge to say the least.mum phones. rays shopping.if the wife shouts i run cos she now has 2 cruches to hit me with .ill be back laterenjoy your poker. :-\
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yes i did dawn /im a twat
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No you"re not Ray...it"s happened to all of us at some point. Hope things look up for you soon. xx
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No you"re not Ray...it"s happened to all of us at some point. Hope things look up for you soon. xx
+1
All the best to Shirley