Author Topic: Duke attempts the Impossible  (Read 1351840 times)

0 Members and 8 Guests are viewing this topic.

APAT

  • Administrator
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5809
    • APAT Poker Association & Tour
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #240 on: February 01, 2009, 13:00:00 PM »
Lol...great read, this blog just keeps on giving.

duke3016

  • Global Moderator
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10549
    • ChezGer
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #241 on: February 01, 2009, 15:59:53 PM »
Most of the time our household was a happy place (well if I kept out the ould lad's way) but whenever elections came up either local or National, battle lines were drawn. You see my Mother was Fine Gael and the ould lad was Fianna Fail. Now I can't be arsed to explain the in and outs of the different parties except they were the two largest. There was a fledgling Labour Party at the time as well. Google FTW if you want to find out more.

Anyway a couple of weeks before the elections they would avoid each other and my mother being the quiet soul that she was would suffer in stoic silence as the ould lad would go about his daily work muttering snide remarks like "fecking blueshirts".

The traditional make up of families would be if your family was one side or the other all your children and their children would be the same. So with the family split I used to wish I had taken holidays at this point.

"Who you voting for" says the ould lad
"Secret ballot" says I
"Secret my fecking arse, you have a duty" says he
"To who Fianna Fail" says I
"Of course" says he "Your family always voted that way"

My mother on the other hand would be more subtle, dropping little hints along the way.

"You know what to do, three sausages this morning son ?" says she
"I always brought you up to do the right thing" says she

Voting day came and it was held in the school and we all dutifully traipsed down and voted in order of our choice (it is proportional representation in Ireland). I went to the pub after voting and had a couple and then arrived home and the black cloud had lifted from the house now the deed was done with the odd couple all lovey dovey again.

"Who did you vote for then" beamed the ould lad
"Secret ballot" says I
"You can tell us it's over now" says the Ma
"Well I couldn't make up my mind, given your arguments for and against so I voted Labour" says I

I was not spoken to by either parent for at least a fortnight.

FML it was a lose/lose and I might as well have had both mad at me as one, at least that way they were talking to one another....

MAIR

  • Staker Licensed Player
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3062
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #242 on: February 01, 2009, 18:41:25 PM »
LMAO Priceless..
Mary Kivlin

Waz1892

  • Staker Licensed Player
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3878
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #243 on: February 01, 2009, 19:31:14 PM »
dont ask me why..i have no idea...but i wanted to know how many words in the total blog thus far..as it is all been quality..

41,476 words just for duke"s enteries..if your interested.

:)
Carpe Diem
Member of East of England Poker Club
Team member APAT forum 2013




duke3016

  • Global Moderator
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10549
    • ChezGer
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #244 on: February 04, 2009, 16:23:07 PM »
Please forgive the lack of posts as I am working flat out on this project in Swindon. Normal service will be resumed next week.

See you in Walsall (If 1. I can get there from here with the snow that"s promised and 2. If this fecking project gets signed off (close very close today just one issue))

MAIR

  • Staker Licensed Player
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3062
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #245 on: February 04, 2009, 17:19:34 PM »
Missing your posts hun, hurry back :)
Mary Kivlin

APAT

  • Administrator
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5809
    • APAT Poker Association & Tour
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #246 on: February 04, 2009, 17:53:23 PM »

Missing your posts hun, hurry back :)


+1

Laxie

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 2623
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #247 on: February 04, 2009, 19:31:12 PM »
By the time he gets back, it will have felt like the longest week of his life!!!  lol

technolog

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 2285
  • Happy chappy
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #248 on: February 04, 2009, 19:43:46 PM »


...I am working flat out on this project...



Not too much Corona NFL now Ger!



duke3016

  • Global Moderator
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10549
    • ChezGer
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #249 on: February 05, 2009, 18:14:01 PM »
Project successfully completed and now back in Maison Chezger - 19hr days not good for the constitution.  

duke3016

  • Global Moderator
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10549
    • ChezGer
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #250 on: February 05, 2009, 18:36:27 PM »
During my job with De Beers I was seconded to the head office in South Africa. A couple of incidents will follow.

One incident has a particular relevance to the fact that if the Irish had a £1 for every bad Irish joke told we would be very rich.

I was in a bar in Pretoria after a particular boring training day. There is only so much Data General 4GL Shiite you can take. I was the only patron in the bar chatting to the Barmaid. Now when I was in South Africa most bars were men only but you had barmaids, you figure..

Anyway three rather large gentlemen walked  into the bar and were talking amongst themselves and must have copped the accent. They then proceeded to tell very loud and very bad Irish jokes. Well if there is one trait we have as a nation that is the wonderful ability to laugh at ourselves. So I walked over and told them another Irish joke, and a better one I might add.

Well, they were gob smacked and didn't know where to place themselves so they did the only thing open to intelligent people. They asked me outside for a pasting.

Well one I might accommodate, two at a pinch, but three heavies no fecking way.

I graciously accepted the offer and led the way to the door. The door as with all good bar doors opened out and was inlaid with steel. As I passed through the threshold I held the door open for the three grinning apes and as the first one was within range I slammed the door in his face, heard a satisfying crunch and legged it up the road.

Me Ma didn't raise an eejit.....


duke3016

  • Global Moderator
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10549
    • ChezGer
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #251 on: February 05, 2009, 18:52:37 PM »
I was involved in a minor traffic accident in Springs where the manufacturing plant was and the police were called. Now I was the aggrieved in that I was rammed from behind and the traffic police arrived and decided to charge the guy in the car that rammed me.

In order to arrest this gentleman they had to take a statement from me and call the SAP who had the power of arrest as the traffic guys didn't. WTF he had a sidearm, a uniform and a patrol car but couldn't officially arrest anyone.

"You can't arrest him" says I
"No, we have called the SAP" says he
"Then what would you do if he decided to run away" says I
"I would shoot him" says he "I can't arrest him but I can shoot him if he tries to leave the scene of an accident"

What a beautifully confused country..........
 

kinboshi

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 3615
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #252 on: February 05, 2009, 21:22:46 PM »
More, more!!!
"Running hurts up to a point and then it doesn't get any worse."  Ann Trason

duke3016

  • Global Moderator
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10549
    • ChezGer
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #253 on: February 05, 2009, 21:23:00 PM »

duke3016

  • Global Moderator
  • Platinum Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10549
    • ChezGer
Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #254 on: February 06, 2009, 15:51:25 PM »
I was in America with work and was in Cinncinati, Ohio. In the hotel where we were staying I was in the bar and struck up a conversation with someone at the bar.

"You from Ireland" says he
"Aye" says I
"Have you ever been to Charleville" says he
"Aye I have" says I
"Goddamn you must know my Grand daddy" says he beaming

FFS I know it's a small Island but do they think we all know each other

"Ah I probably don't" says I
"Everybody knows John Sullivan" says he
"Nope, don't recollect the name" says I

Well he got the fecking hump and picked up his drink and walked to the other end of the bar.

"What was that all about" I said to the barman
"You hurt his feelings" says the barman
"Does the eejit expect all Irishmen to know everyone in Ireland" says I
"You mean you don't" says he and disappears to the end of the bar to join Mr disgruntled and discuss the awkward man from Ireland. Leaving me perplexed to say the least.