Author Topic: Duke attempts the Impossible  (Read 902991 times)

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Laxie

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #615 on: May 04, 2009, 19:27:07 PM »
Guess which horse Ger"s money was on..................




Hat from Hell............


jacklevel06

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #616 on: May 04, 2009, 19:34:40 PM »

Guess which horse Ger"s money was on..................




Hat from Hell............


Is that Glen in the photo ,suited and booted ?
Mug punter on the horses since 1981

Laxie

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #617 on: May 04, 2009, 19:38:26 PM »
Aye.  It was a proper posh gig, so it was.

Bigfella42

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #618 on: May 04, 2009, 20:36:46 PM »
Yes it was a great few days, but I"m not touching another pint for at least 24 hours!

The "Hat from hell" (see above post) was hilarious. Laxie spotted the lady sat at a table near us. Every time she turned her head to the left, the long feathers on the back of her hat whacked a poor blonde lady sat to her right straight in the face - and you could tell she was getting pretty fed up about it all!!

Great to see you all again and look forward to the next time.

Glass of water FTW
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If it's not in Scotland you can forget it!

Laxie

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #619 on: May 05, 2009, 12:37:46 PM »
Flippin heck Ger!  We almost forgot the one constant from the week-end. 

You are NOT my husband and I am NOT cheating on you with Mr. Laxie. 

Well...I am, but I"m not.  lol

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #620 on: May 05, 2009, 18:12:43 PM »
That was so funny, Glenn"s friend must have been biting her tounge all day until she eventually blurted it out. Married to me and flirting with Tim all day -- LOL

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #621 on: May 05, 2009, 19:21:43 PM »
While I was in Knocknagree it was brought home to me what I really miss about Ireland. Oh you can have your locals here in England but it is not and never will be the same. The big cities of Ireland have drifted but the country remains essentially the same.

The pub has a tremendous significance in Irish culture, and nowhere more so than in the West of Ireland. The pub is not just considered to be a social outlet but it is seen as a worthwhile pastime especially in places like Cork & Kerry, which makes no apologies for its pub culture and, in fact, thrives on it.

And there"ll be a lot more than drink flowing in the average Irish pub where good conversation, the best of music and the "craic" are the order of the day. It is here that you will find the truest representation of contemporary Irish life as it is embodied in its people, which are, after all, the country"s greatest asset.

The boys taking 5 Euro bets on the colour of top of the next girl in the door and having a good natured argument for the next 2 hours. Then the conversation switches to the fact that Yanks are colour blind,  - priceless.

Homesick rant over

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #622 on: May 06, 2009, 17:50:53 PM »
You have probably heard references in this ranting drivel about a certain Margaret Ryan. Now Margaret was a legend in her own lifetime. She was always a fixture around our house. She started in the employ of my Great Aunt Molly a goodly number of years in the distant past. When my mother inherited from Molly, Margaret was in the package.

She ran the post office and did general chores for my great aunt and when we took over the post office and built the shop, she just naturally came with the territory.

She had a caustic tongue and could strip the paint from a door at 50 paces and despite her diminutive size, you didn't mess with Margaret. She scorned all the trappings of the electronic age and did all the post office processes manually, much to the dismay and frustration of the powers that be. She handled all the pensions, dole and farmers AI phone calls (and the "I" did not stand for intelligence).

Her age was a mystery until in the last years of her life she broke her hip and had to tell me on the way to the hospital. She managed the Post Office well past official retirement despite numerous attempts to force her into retirement. This was not helped by the fact that Margaret did not have a birth certificate and was never out of Ireland in her life, so had no need of a Passport etc.

One particular Wednesday, which was half day in the Post Office, an officious looking mad arrived into the shop.

"Good afternoon, my name is Mr O'Sneaky-jobsworth-smarmy-fecker" says he
"And" says the ould lad, in fine form
"I wish to discuss the Post Mistress with you" says greasy man
"And, who the feck are you" says the ould lad
"I am a representative of the post master general" replied tiny man drawing himself to his full height of 5 foot. And flashing his ID

Now the ould lad was a little gruff at the best of times but his treatment of officialdom was legendary.

"Fire away" says the ould lad
"When was Miss Margaret Ryan born" says official jobsworth
"No Idea" says the ould lad
"Roughly" says soppy bollix
"Sorry, I have roughly no idea" says the ould lad
"We believe her to be past retirement age" says smarmy git
"Get away" says the ould lad.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, he got nowhere and my mother was no direct help either and he went away no wiser. This little charade was to be a regular occurrence every year as the wheels of government tried to turf Margaret out of a job.

When the ould lad sold the shop Margaret didn't like the new owners much so she retired of her own accord and working back from the hip incident I calculated that she was 85 years young when she retired (about Tikay's age).

Great woman.


duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #623 on: May 07, 2009, 17:38:48 PM »
After the debacle with the donkey kicking in the Shiite house door the ould lad decided that we had to have a fully functioning proper flush toilet on the premises. It was decided that he would have one built just outside the back door as there was no room in the house to install one.

He decided to get a handyman to build it and do the plumbing etc and he also decided that because he wasn't prepared to pay a man with a JCB I would dig the septic tank. That was ball breaking work I can tell you.

Anyway the hole was dug and the sides bricked and the top created and the trench dug back to the site of the new toilet. Paddy Welch was selected to build and plumb the toilet.

The previous week we had cleared out the house and placed some furniture and stuff in the out house and my Mother had received a flyer in the door from some people looking to buy old furniture and metalwork etc. There was one particularly large table that we took out of the parlour that we thought might fetch a few bob. So the mother rang them and they said they would be round in the next couple of days to take a look.

Paddy was getting on great and had built and plumbed the toilet and was in the process of building the door from some slats that were in the shed. Bliss a flush toilet at last.

The buyers arrived and we haggled over a few items and my Mother was quite happy with the price received and we then came to the table. Well the man's eyes lit up, it would seem that this was a particularly sought after piece of furniture. They examined it and said.

"Have you got the extension leaves for this Missus?"
"Ah don't know about that" says my Mother
"Pity, as it is, it is worth £200, with the leaves it would have been worth £500" says the man

Anyway my mother was made up with the £200 so they paid up, loaded up and left. The ould lad could not recall the extension leaves either but he was quite calm about the whole thing.

The ould lad then paid off Paddy for the toilet work and declared.

"Right off to christen the toilet"

He went out the back door and into the toilet and of course we walked to the back door to make sure that the device functioned properly. If the truth was told I was hoping it would back up while he was still on it.

He had closed the door and possibly just had time to drop the pants and sit down, when he launched into a tirade of the foulest, most abusive language even by his standards.

We waited until he and all the local animals had calmed down, which was quite a while. He came out of the toilet speechless with anger and pointed at the door.

We had found the extension leaves for the table. Paddy had cut them up and used them as the cross members.

Now whenever the ould lad went to the toilet he would say.

"I'm off to have a fecking £300 shiite"

Priceless

MAIR

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #624 on: May 07, 2009, 18:13:45 PM »
Lmaoooo that is priceless!
Mary Kivlin

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #625 on: May 07, 2009, 19:46:11 PM »

So we arrive in Dublin a few hours after Ger and Glenn on the Thursday night.  Don"t ever give Ger a 3 hour head start in a drinking session...he won"t last the pace.



Luckily Glenn was still able for a laugh.  That"s Mr. Laxie with him.  I"m behind the camera. 








Off to Punchestown on Friday and we were spoiled rotten for the day.  Cheers Glenn!!!







Don"t ask Leigh for horse tips.  His are still running...........or shot.




All in all a great day!!!

The trip back to Knocknagree only took an hour more than it should have in the end.  No help from the phone calls to England and they were convinced my google maps were wrong, so I threw down for a nap and left them at it.  Saturday was tame enough after Munster losing the match, but we more than made up for it on Sunday.  Will let Ger fill you in on the rest. 

Oh yeah.  Denis is NOT gay.












Great pics, though never thought I"d see the Duke asleep on the job.  The shame...

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #626 on: May 07, 2009, 19:56:10 PM »

Great pics, though never thought I"d see the Duke asleep on the job.  The shame...


Shame my arse -- old age

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #627 on: May 09, 2009, 13:15:57 PM »
Dawn (Laxie) is climbing a mountain today for a good cause and I understand that it is a good 6 mile walk upwards. This particular mountain has a telecoms mast at the top and when it rains even the 4x4's can't get up there.  As you all know I was gutted that it wasn't last weekend when I was staying down there, however I was generous with my advice this morning.

Anyway like any good organized woman she had her backpack all ready.

Water proof bandages for the inevitable blisters
Knee brace for the inevitable ricked joints
Roll of elasticated tubular bandage for the inevitable muscle strains
Bottle of lubrication for the inevitable cramp
Bottle of Vodka for the inevitable "Feck this for a game"
20 Marlboro Lights for the inevitable lung collapse

GL girl we are all rooting for you  


duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #628 on: May 09, 2009, 17:00:52 PM »
Running very well on stars over the last few days, but as with all good things - it has come to a screaming end today. Whilst revelling in the cashes during the week I even began to believe that I am a good player.

Today proved the luck of my week. One particular hand springs to mind. On the money bubble 4th in chips

Find  qs qh --- shoves it all in the middle called by  ks kh  and feck me also called by  qd qc

Its a lovely game.

Laxie

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #629 on: May 09, 2009, 17:54:11 PM »
Made it to the top.  Made it down.  Fell on the way down of course.  Pains in places I didn"t know could hurt. 

They"re having some sort of "Thank You" do at the pub for us.  Hot shower and off to the pub to kill the pain.  Will post pics tomorrow.