Author Topic: Duke attempts the Impossible  (Read 1351894 times)

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duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #705 on: June 02, 2009, 13:06:48 PM »
the facts are still with the fecking censor..... anyway we continue

Dawn has possibly (with the exception of her husband) the worst sense of direction in the world. She sets off from Cork to get to Dublin for the comp on the Friday. Now getting to the red cow roundabout was ok but from there on in it was a tad of a struggle.

Got directions from a man whom she couldn't understand. You know the type. "If you pass this landmark you have gone too far"

Made numerous phone calls

Ran red lights

Eventually persuaded a taxi driver to drive in front of her in order to get to the hotel. On the way he and she carved up two busses, three cyclists, one old lady and a arthritic dog.

She then got the wee man to travel with her from the hotel to the car park where she reversed into an alley that was just wide enough for a cat with large whiskers. Ger said he had his eyes closed the whole time.

Priceless  


duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #706 on: June 02, 2009, 13:26:47 PM »

jacklevel06

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #707 on: June 02, 2009, 18:35:01 PM »

I am STILL gobsmacked that Laxie had to drag ANY of ye to said nightclub.  In all fairness.  Amateurs the lot of ya!
Compared to you Dawn i totally agree.
Mug punter on the horses since 1981

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #708 on: June 02, 2009, 18:47:37 PM »


I am STILL gobsmacked that Laxie had to drag ANY of ye to said nightclub.  In all fairness.  Amateurs the lot of ya!
Compared to you Dawn i totally agree.


Posting at 6.30 on your birthday -- shame on you

KarmaDope

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #709 on: June 02, 2009, 19:32:50 PM »
Posting coherently on said birthday as well - even bigger shame on you Micky!
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jacklevel06

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #710 on: June 02, 2009, 20:25:00 PM »

Posting coherently on said birthday as well - even bigger shame on you Micky!
Its the first time i"ve been coherent since Thursday. Got in with a bad crowd in Dublin. As Ger would say PRICELESS
Mug punter on the horses since 1981

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #711 on: June 04, 2009, 18:11:11 PM »
Yesterday we went on a team build treasure hunt FFS. Anyway, afterwards,  it involved free food and drinks and involved me getting a taxi from Chester to home.

I was talking to the taxi driver and he informed me that he was after doing a "speed awareness" course. He had been caught for speeding and instead of the points he took the course.

"The teach you space awareness, you know not tunnel vision" says he
"oh aye" says I
"oh yes it was very enlightening, there are even plans to put cameras in the cat's eyes" says he
"right" says I
"Oh yes it was an eye opener all right, I watch my speed now" says he

We then passed one of those warning signs that flash "Slow Down" and show the speed limit.

I looked at his speedo and it showed 75mph, we were in a 50

priceless

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #712 on: June 04, 2009, 18:39:47 PM »
« Last Edit: June 04, 2009, 18:57:39 PM by duke3016 »

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #713 on: June 04, 2009, 18:51:47 PM »
The guide to successful Horse racing

Over the weekend we had a good run with the horses (Which is just as well our poker sucked).

[  ] We studied form
[  ] We followed a successful stable
[  ] We followed a successful Jockey
[  ] We had a tip
[X] We lumped on number 6 everytime

For everything else there is a cure

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #714 on: June 05, 2009, 18:50:11 PM »
The wee man is ie middle of his A levels at the mo and a couple of the subjects he is doing are:

Philosophy & Ethics
Psychology (could come in handy at the table)

WTF I was helping him to revise last night and it was Philosophy, Jesus they were all nutters Freud/Jong all of em. Anyway he popped up the old chestnut

You are standing at a railway switch as an oncoming train rapidly approaches from the left. Just beyond you is a fork in the track. Five innocent people, unaware of the train, are standing on the left fork. One innocent man is standing on the right. If you do nothing, the train will veer to the left and kill the five people. If you throw the switch, the train will veer to the right and kill the man. What should you do?

WTF -  Anyway some other nutter says, in one of his books, that only I exist WTF

so it"s easy they don"t exist so feck em

My head hurts

Laxie

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #715 on: June 05, 2009, 20:47:49 PM »
If 6 people are stood in front of a rapidly approaching train, they obviously know what they"re doing.  Surely there"s a pub where you can grab a pint while they get on with their lunacy.  No need to stress yerself. 

Oh yeah.  Good luck to the wee man with his exams.   :)

Waz1892

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #716 on: June 06, 2009, 12:11:08 PM »

The wee man is ie middle of his A levels at the mo and a couple of the subjects he is doing are:

Philosophy & Ethics
Psychology (could come in handy at the table)

WTF I was helping him to revise last night and it was Philosophy, Jesus they were all nutters Freud/Jong all of em. Anyway he popped up the old chestnut

You are standing at a railway switch as an oncoming train rapidly approaches from the left. Just beyond you is a fork in the track. Five innocent people, unaware of the train, are standing on the left fork. One innocent man is standing on the right. If you do nothing, the train will veer to the left and kill the five people. If you throw the switch, the train will veer to the right and kill the man. What should you do?

WTF -  Anyway some other nutter says, in one of his books, that only I exist WTF

so it"s easy they don"t exist so feck em

My head hurts


Do nothing  - Fate is a wonderful thing
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Honeybadg

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #717 on: June 06, 2009, 12:24:53 PM »

The wee man is ie middle of his A levels at the mo and a couple of the subjects he is doing are:

Philosophy & Ethics
Psychology (could come in handy at the table)

WTF I was helping him to revise last night and it was Philosophy, Jesus they were all nutters Freud/Jong all of em. Anyway he popped up the old chestnut

You are standing at a railway switch as an oncoming train rapidly approaches from the left. Just beyond you is a fork in the track. Five innocent people, unaware of the train, are standing on the left fork. One innocent man is standing on the right. If you do nothing, the train will veer to the left and kill the five people. If you throw the switch, the train will veer to the right and kill the man. What should you do?

WTF -  Anyway some other nutter says, in one of his books, that only I exist WTF

so it"s easy they don"t exist so feck em

My head hurts


I am loving that question ...

... defo leave the switch well alone ...

L

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #718 on: June 06, 2009, 19:26:35 PM »
Right ho, The wee man, me and Carl are off to the G in Machester for the £25+£25

Will let you know how we get on  

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #719 on: June 07, 2009, 04:16:28 AM »
Just back in quick recap

I had to fecking deal for a long while
I shoved twice in quick succession with A9 ended 13th
Ger & Carl chopped 5 way for £440 each
I had 50% of Ger (result)
I won £120 on BlackJack

So a good night was had by all

Good Night