Author Topic: Duke attempts the Impossible  (Read 902319 times)

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KarmaDope

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1035 on: September 04, 2009, 20:27:45 PM »

The Yorkshire Ripper is alive and out of jail!!


FYP Rob
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Swinebag

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1036 on: September 04, 2009, 23:20:44 PM »
Quote from: Chipaccrual
Rob, you are a genius.
Quote from: jacklevel06
You are a genius Rob  :D

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1037 on: September 05, 2009, 19:04:46 PM »
I was flying from Liverpool to Cork to take part in the Poker game in Killarney and I boarded the plane and as usual make my way straight for the emergency exit seats for the extra legroom. I get comfortable and await the take off. Across the aisle from me was a couple in their twilight years and they looked a little nervous.

The plane taxied onto the runway and powered up and shot up the runway. Approximately halfway up the runway the pilot slams on the anchors and the plane shudders to a halt.

"Sorry Ladies & Gentlemen a warning light has appeared on the console and we will have to taxi back to the terminal to get it checked out"

Fair enough, better safe than sorry.

We pulled up and were told to stay in our seats. After a while a young lad in a Hi-Viz appeared and walked down  the aisle and stood in front of the elderly couple.

"Excuse me please would you mind stepping into the aisle" says he

Well the couple did a comical double take to each other and meekly got up and stood in the aisle.

The lad rapped the door a few times and grunted "Looks fine to me" and walked away. Well,  the couple sat back down as the doors were closed again and the plane taxied off again.

Well their faces were a picture and the Lady said something to her husband that I could not hear, but half the plane heard his reply.

"Never mind dear at least we will be first out"

Priceless

Note; The pilot aborted the second take off as well and we had to go back disembark and wait 4 hours for a replacement plane.

Swinebag

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1038 on: September 06, 2009, 11:37:18 AM »


Note; The pilot aborted the second take off as well and we had to go back disembark and wait 4 hours for a replacement plane.



Just think of all that money saved at the poker table
Quote from: Chipaccrual
Rob, you are a genius.
Quote from: jacklevel06
You are a genius Rob  :D

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1039 on: September 06, 2009, 21:03:47 PM »
As of now I officially have retired from playing poker - I am so bad at it it"s embarrasing and when I am ahead (or in most cases behind to a speclative before the flop) I always get done. no regrets, its been fun - now taking up needlework and embroidery

SirPercival

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1040 on: September 06, 2009, 21:12:13 PM »

As of now I officially have retired from playing poker - I am so bad at it it"s embarrasing and when I am ahead (or in most cases behind to a speclative before the flop) I always get done. no regrets, its been fun - now taking up needlework and embroidery


I would take up drinking, much more fun.
you should try it sometime.  ;D

gerry5421

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1041 on: September 06, 2009, 23:19:23 PM »


As of now I officially have retired from playing poker - I am so bad at it it"s embarrasing and when I am ahead (or in most cases behind to a speclative before the flop) I always get done. no regrets, its been fun - now taking up needlework and embroidery


I would take up drinking, much more fun.
you should try it sometime.  ;D


lol drink then EARLY to bed  hang on did that not happen in nottingham
Gerry
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duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1042 on: September 08, 2009, 18:01:46 PM »
I never stopped to consider what would happen if I'd chosen a different path. I enjoy my work and a large part of it is Warehouse Management Systems Support.

There's an uneasy friendship between being a single point of contact and anonymity; living on the verge of corporate recognition and total isolation. Do we all think of what we do as such a noble pursuit? Do we go to work thinking that we will save the world?

As I sat at my desk mindlessly plucking at my keyboard, the phone rings.  I pick it up and it is the Service Desk.

"There is a call in your queue and the user is chasing" The anonymous female voice was the sort of off-key, grating sound that you could only tolerate in small doses. I wondered what it must be like to be married to that voice. Knowing that every conversation is a form of Chinese water torture. Could there be someone out there who finds that sound bearable? Melodious even?

I fired up the Service application, the text in the call was as usual Jibberish so I called the person who raised the call

"This is IT Supply Chain how can I help you?" says I

"Hi, I can't see the box on the screen I usually see, can you tell me what I'm doing wrong?

What you're doing wrong is calling me as if I live to figure out what kind of crap you have done to get to this point. As if without any detailed information, I will be able to diagnose your problem and present a one-button solution that will make everyone happy.

"What application transaction are you in?" says I

As they prattle on, instead of answering my question, they go on and on about what they want to do, as if they expect me to have super powers and I can see their screen. They keep talking as if to provide enough information to allow me to do their work for them.

"I just realized what your problem is." says I,

"Page down" says I

"Oh there it is"

Priceless..... I love my job

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1043 on: September 08, 2009, 20:26:19 PM »
WOW watching Coast on BBC2 and the Forth Road Bridge is rusting and will fall down in 13 years time.

ooops well built then

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1044 on: September 09, 2009, 17:41:02 PM »
Our company adopts a charity and we are currently supporting the Alder Hay Imagine Appeal. Whatever the employees raise through events and raffles is then matched by the company. Last year we raised £500,000 which was then matched by the company.

This year there have been a few bizarre stunts but none more so than the one today. Now I know a few of you on here have run marathons and climbed mountains but have you ever tried to "travel" 1.5 miles on your hands and knees whilst having a "Tortoise Shell" on your back.

Jason Hudson managed this today in 1 hour and 45 minutes raising a goodly amount for our chosen charity.

Big up to the man.




Chipaccrual

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1045 on: September 09, 2009, 17:44:26 PM »
I"m shellshocked.  What a turtley good thing to do for charity.   ;D

Dewi_cool

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1046 on: September 09, 2009, 18:31:50 PM »
he went too fast
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Cyntaf

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1047 on: September 09, 2009, 21:24:02 PM »
At least they"ll be shelling out to a good cause?
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APAT

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1048 on: September 09, 2009, 22:09:58 PM »
Top effort, but he"ll need some of that tort ice for his knees.


duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1049 on: September 10, 2009, 18:32:38 PM »
I had a meeting with my IT Director today and was asked.....

"Are all your duck"s in a row"


FFS WTF is that all about