Author Topic: Duke attempts the Impossible  (Read 902320 times)

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duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1065 on: September 15, 2009, 19:25:55 PM »
[X] I am alive
[  ] I am well

MAIR

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1066 on: September 16, 2009, 07:54:27 AM »

[X] I am alive
[  ] I am well


Get well soon xx
Mary Kivlin

Laxie

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1067 on: September 16, 2009, 08:30:27 AM »


[X] I am alive
[  ] I am well


Get well soon xx


Self inflicted IMO.  Get over it ya slacker!   ;D

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1068 on: September 19, 2009, 19:06:01 PM »
Arrived in Scotland Friday fully recovered from the Leeds indulgence. Leave the depot at 16:00 in the bar by 16:15 a few bevvies later and the wedding that was in the hotel kicked off at 11:30pm. Place was crawling with cops as a few protagonists were lobbed into the back of a riot wagon.

Good craic for a while, made me feel right at home. Can"t have a wedding without a row.

Working all weekend with 5am starts - no good for the body. Nipping across to Glasgow on Wednesday to do some training with our service centre. That should be good as my empathy level is really low trying to teach people.

Work will get in the way and I don"t think I will be able take in any poker, never mind it pays the bills.

Back to Chez Ger on Thursday

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1069 on: September 25, 2009, 17:52:24 PM »
The wedding Party - expanded version

Just back from a week working in Sunny/Windy/Rainy/Foggy Scotland and it was a buy week.

I arrived in the depot last Friday at 12:00 and had a few things to do prior to the "Go Live" on the Saturday. These done I went to check into my Hotel. Check in was non eventful but I did notice there was a wedding in full swing.

You know the way you can tangibly feel an atmosphere brewing. Well this one was like that, with all the kilted men wondering round looking for an English man to slaughter. I was due to go out and meet a few friends and duly got a taxi to another hotel for a few drinks.

I returned to the hotel at around 11:30pm and the wedding had got more lively. I ordered a drink at the bar and as I turned to survey the surroundings I espied the bride and the groom having a heated discussion in fluent vernacular Scottish so I didn't understand a word but I got the gist.

The bride of barely 10 hours then decided that words were not getting through to her beloved husband, so she gave him the sweetest short arm jab I have seen in a long time. He went down on the floor like a deflated lilo kilt akimbo. A woman, who I can only suspect was the grooms mother then barreled in and landed a beauty flush on the jaw of the bride.

Cue blood curdling cries of war as the kilted brigade then squared up and proceeded to knock several bales of Shiite out of each other. The Keystone cops then arrived and unsuccessfully attempted to part the warring factions and much tooing and froing occurred.

At one point the main tangle was herded out into the car park to continue their discussions and as I was in need of a cigarette I went to go out the front door. I was stopped by the duty manager (a lovely wee girl from Falkirk as I recall) and was steered in a different direction and shown the employee's secret smoking area. As we were walking arm in arm to this area she looked at me and said "Welcome to Livingston"

Cigarette duly smoked I wandered back in and was promptly stopped by a couple of boys in blue who wanted to interview me about my part in the proceedings. After numerous explainings and exasperated sighs they eventually believed that I was a resident and had no part in the scuffle, which had at this stage run its course and they were all buddies again.

Can't have a good wedding without a fight..


Priceless  

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1070 on: September 25, 2009, 20:14:09 PM »
Riddick in surround sound rocks

pables

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1071 on: September 26, 2009, 08:42:54 AM »

Riddick in surround sound rocks

My Mrs reckons Riddick Rocks...............full stop............

whatever...............
WCOAP online Omaha Bronze 2009
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duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1072 on: September 26, 2009, 09:58:33 AM »

mal666

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1073 on: September 26, 2009, 11:04:40 AM »
Had that trouble before Duke, they were spouting data protection act bs etc.

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1074 on: September 27, 2009, 12:14:12 PM »
Love it or loathe it, Ikea has got something in most if not all of our homes. It turns out that the Billy Bookcase is 30 years old.

Let"s face it, who doesn"t have a Billy bookcase? Or at least an imitation of one? This singularly bland piece of furniture is so popular that Ikea"s furniture factory in Sandhem, Sweden, churns out 15 of them every minute. And now, to celebrate Billy"s 30th birthday next month, Ikea is bringing out a range of limited-edition graffiti-style bookcases, covered in Shakespeare quotes.

What"s in your house from the creeping monolith that is IKEA and do you love it or loathe it?.

Ikea Bookcases in my Living room (They are on both walls)

lukybugur

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1075 on: September 27, 2009, 13:22:04 PM »
Quote
What"s in your house from the creeping monolith that is IKEA


Nowt! Been once, nicked enough wee pencils to last a couple of golf seasons. * EDIT * Just remembered I bought a bath towel when I FINALLY made it to the exit.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2009, 08:16:37 AM by lukybugur »

MAIR

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1076 on: September 27, 2009, 22:01:24 PM »
I have side tables, kids table n chairs, dish towels, curtains, pillows, duvets, duvet covers, computer desk, computer chair, cutlery, cups, glasses, dishes, pots n pans, erm I could go on and on and on...I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee IKEA
Mary Kivlin

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1077 on: September 28, 2009, 09:44:37 AM »
I hate  the bloody place ,got draged in there once.Never again.Saying that i have sat in the car park of ikea on many occasions ,best way to shop imo.
Mug punter on the horses since 1981

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1078 on: September 28, 2009, 17:18:59 PM »
The was a man in our village, Michael McNamara (Shortened of course to Mick Mac) who was a plasterer by trade and a hard and outspoken gentleman who was not afraid to speak his mind or back up his opinions with explosive and deadly action.

He was on a job in Limerick and was driving home across Arnacrusha bridge when he was pulled up at a Garda checkpoint. The were checking for tax and insurance, which he had, but he of course berated them as only he knows how and of course the young Guard took the hump and proceeded to look over his old banger with a fine tooth comb.

He was writing down all the things that were wrong with the car when Mick jumped out and demanded to know what was wrong with his beloved car.

"For a start you have 4 bald tyres" said the Guard

Mick looked at the tyres and back at the Guard.

"FFS you wouldn't know a bald tyre if it jumped up and slapped you in the face" spluttered Mick

He then proceeded to the back of the car and began tossing his tools of the trade onto the road, trowels, mortar boards and assorted implements clattered onto the road. At last he came to what he was looking for.


"That's a fecking bald tyre" screamed Mick, pointing at the offending item, which was so bad you could see the wire poking through the rubber.


The Guard looked at the tyre and back to Mick.

"You are right sir, 5 bald tyres" he smiled as he continued his list of faults.

Priceless.. When you are in the Shiite keep your mouth shut.

duke3016

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Re: Duke attempts the Impossible
« Reply #1079 on: September 28, 2009, 19:32:09 PM »
Well my pride and joy upped and died on me this weekend. The BMW 540i decided that enough was enough and as good as expired on Saturday. The AA man did more tutting and breathing through teeth than the most dishonest used car salesman. He reckoned it would take major surgery which was more that BUPA would stand (ie more than the car is worth)

SO I have purchased a 2.6 Omega -- I am getting old and it was cheap and the air conditioning works.

BMW for sale anyone (parts only as it is not running very well)