Author Topic: If Carlsberg did dull poker blogs, they'd do this one  (Read 227138 times)

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monkeyman

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #465 on: January 17, 2009, 11:25:46 AM »
After 24 hours without a broadband connection as a result of my service provider disappearing in a cloud of smoke, I"m back in action on the small stakes cash tables. This morning I"ve had one table open on Blue Square and have returned a profit as well as another table on Ladbrokes. The latter hasn"t gone as well, but has provided yet another boost to my already high confidence. Twice in one orbit I was dealt pocket queens; the first time I ran into kings, the second time aces. Rather than curse my bad luck, I was delighted that I managed to get away with losing less than half a buy-in over the two hands. I don"t know whether its my focus on cash play or all the training material I"ve been absorbing, but over the last few weeks I"ve repeatedly got away from hands that, even two or three months ago, would have seen me dead and buried. Walsall just cant come soon enough.  
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Santino67

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #466 on: January 17, 2009, 20:25:20 PM »
Hi Simon

Told u last night i"d stick with the full buy-in despite having 3 nights of bad hits. Thankfully last night paid off as I ended up more than doubling my buy-in on 25c/50c table and today more than doubled buy-in on 10c/20c table. Glad you didn"t run into too much trouble with your queens, sometimes difficult to play them depending on your table but it"s incredible the number of hands they run into bigger pairs online.

Cheers mate
Grant
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monkeyman

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #467 on: January 18, 2009, 15:20:52 PM »
I can safely say that I"m the only person using this site who instead of spending Sunday Night chucking chips around on Pokerstars, will be attempting to write some  poetry. Tempted as I am to use some of the contributions which have been posted on this blog within the last few days, I will stick to my principles and try to come up with something of my own creation. I filled a couple of pages of a notebook with random lines and phrases I thought sounded good, so I will take some time to knock them together into a cohesive whole.    
 However, I am a poker addict, so I can"t go too long without a fix of some sort. I will find some time to peruse some training material and have just completed a session of cash play. Since the turn of the year, my usual modus operandi has been to play a cash table on Blue Square alongside a table at the same buy-in on Betfair. My Blue Square table provided me with something of a rollercoaster ride. I intially went slightly ahead and established that the most dangerous player on the table was seated to my left. Things took a turn for the worse when a player who limped then called my big blind raise with five/six off, flopped trips and took three-quarters of my stack. I had aces. I rebought and eventually managed to grind back the dollars I had lost.
 Over on Betfair, things were completely different. It doesn"t seem to matter whether MTTs,SNGs or cash games are your thing, but this site contains the players who are easiest to manipulate a few quid out of. If it had the same level of traffic as Pokerstars or the Ipoker network, I would never play anywhere else. Today went very, very well indeed. There was one particular player who kept calling my raises and continuation bets with top pair/good kicker. This guy gave me most of his max buy-in stack, rebought then was unlike enough to get cleaned out a second time as I hit a royal flush to his straight. If only every session was like this........    
Currently tearing the Ipoker anonymous tables a new one

ibis

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #468 on: January 18, 2009, 18:58:07 PM »

I can safely say that I"m the only person using this site who instead of spending Sunday Night chucking chips around on Pokerstars, will be attempting to write some  poetry.


Well almost. You did say your second week"s poetry homework was to write a poem between 8 and 16 lines so here goes:

In his tractor that would often stall
Monkeyman was off to Walsall
With Antthecat in the back
Sitting on an empty sack
Along the road they did roll
As if out for an evening stroll
Making just 3 miles an hour
Due to a lack of power
Their tractor a shade of midnight blue
Was at the head of a ten mile queue
They drove right through the casino door
Because their brakes were so poor
They'd arrived just in time
At around half past nine
To see [xxx] had won the event
Bugger! They'd missed the whole tournament!

monkeyman

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #469 on: January 18, 2009, 20:13:20 PM »


I can safely say that I"m the only person using this site who instead of spending Sunday Night chucking chips around on Pokerstars, will be attempting to write some  poetry.


Well almost. You did say your second week"s poetry homework was to write a poem between 8 and 16 lines so here goes:

In his tractor that would often stall
Monkeyman was off to Walsall
With Antthecat in the back
Sitting on an empty sack
Along the road they did roll
As if out for an evening stroll
Making just 3 miles an hour
Due to a lack of power
Their tractor a shade of midnight blue
Was at the head of a ten mile queue
They drove right through the casino door
Because their brakes were so poor
They'd arrived just in time
At around half past nine
To see [xxx] had won the event
Bugger! They'd missed the whole tournament!



Don"t know whether anyone reading this blog has any legal experience, but I was wondering whether it was possible to divorce your in-laws?
Currently tearing the Ipoker anonymous tables a new one

APAT

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #470 on: January 18, 2009, 20:25:34 PM »



I can safely say that I"m the only person using this site who instead of spending Sunday Night chucking chips around on Pokerstars, will be attempting to write some  poetry.


Well almost. You did say your second week"s poetry homework was to write a poem between 8 and 16 lines so here goes:

In his tractor that would often stall
Monkeyman was off to Walsall
With Antthecat in the back
Sitting on an empty sack
Along the road they did roll
As if out for an evening stroll
Making just 3 miles an hour
Due to a lack of power
Their tractor a shade of midnight blue
Was at the head of a ten mile queue
They drove right through the casino door
Because their brakes were so poor
They'd arrived just in time
At around half past nine
To see [xxx] had won the event
Bugger! They'd missed the whole tournament!



Don"t know whether anyone reading this blog has any legal experience, but I was wondering whether it was possible to divorce your in-laws?


I don"t think so, but for a small fee, I believe you can have them knocked off...

Bad hat lady

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #471 on: January 18, 2009, 21:38:05 PM »




I can safely say that I"m the only person using this site who instead of spending Sunday Night chucking chips around on Pokerstars, will be attempting to write some  poetry.


Well almost. You did say your second week"s poetry homework was to write a poem between 8 and 16 lines so here goes:

In his tractor that would often stall
Monkeyman was off to Walsall
With Antthecat in the back
Sitting on an empty sack
Along the road they did roll
As if out for an evening stroll
Making just 3 miles an hour
Due to a lack of power
Their tractor a shade of midnight blue
Was at the head of a ten mile queue
They drove right through the casino door
Because their brakes were so poor
They'd arrived just in time
At around half past nine
To see [xxx] had won the event
Bugger! They'd missed the whole tournament!



Don"t know whether anyone reading this blog has any legal experience, but I was wondering whether it was possible to divorce your in-laws?


I don"t think so, but for a small fee, I believe you can have them knocked off...


There was a blogger called Monkeyman,
who came up with a cunning plan
to save his site from poetry posts
he'd wish his brother-in-law adios
and run over him with a van

ibis

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #472 on: January 18, 2009, 21:50:29 PM »




I can safely say that I"m the only person using this site who instead of spending Sunday Night chucking chips around on Pokerstars, will be attempting to write some  poetry.


Well almost. You did say your second week"s poetry homework was to write a poem between 8 and 16 lines so here goes:

In his tractor that would often stall
Monkeyman was off to Walsall
With Antthecat in the back
Sitting on an empty sack
Along the road they did roll
As if out for an evening stroll
Making just 3 miles an hour
Due to a lack of power
Their tractor a shade of midnight blue
Was at the head of a ten mile queue
They drove right through the casino door
Because their brakes were so poor
They'd arrived just in time
At around half past nine
To see [xxx] had won the event
Bugger! They'd missed the whole tournament!



Don"t know whether anyone reading this blog has any legal experience, but I was wondering whether it was possible to divorce your in-laws?


I don"t think so, but for a small fee, I believe you can have them knocked off...


That great blogger, Monkeyman
Came up with a cunning plan
To knock off his brother-in-law
I've no idea what for
He paid the hoodlum his fee
But instead he bought a tree
For he was green, you see
And so the Ibis was free
To post his poetry
For all the world to see

And so it came to pass
Along the lush, green grass
He wandered lonely as a cloud
Through vales and hill he was so proud
Because the country had now spoke
That Ibis must not croak
They thought his poetry so great
They made him poet laureate

Oldsoreknees

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #473 on: January 19, 2009, 17:27:09 PM »
IBIS - the only man ever to get kicked out of the Vogon Star Fleet because his poetry was too bad.  I really hope you haven"t been spending any time writing these!

ibis

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #474 on: January 19, 2009, 22:08:12 PM »

IBIS - the only man ever to get kicked out of the Vogon Star Fleet because his poetry was too bad.  I really hope you haven"t been spending any time writing these!


I didn"t spend very much time
making up these terrible rhymes
I bet the composing on Vogon Ships
wasn"t done whilst winning poker chips






monkeyman

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #475 on: January 19, 2009, 23:14:19 PM »
Oh FFS, stop this madness now, people!
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Oldsoreknees

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #476 on: January 20, 2009, 16:03:28 PM »
Please see below my prediction for your trip to Walsall:

Pocket Aces :as: ah,
The very first hand,
The Button raises,
To over a grand,
Re raise with all the stack,
Cards are on their back
Anticipation; violent shiver
Blast, damn and bugger it,
He's done me on the river
7c 7d 7h :2s: :2h:

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monkeyman

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #477 on: January 20, 2009, 17:05:08 PM »

Please see below my prediction for your trip to Walsall:

Pocket Aces :as: ah,
The very first hand,
The Button raises,
To over a grand,
Re raise with all the stack,
Cards are on their back
Anticipation; violent shiver
Blast, damn and bugger it,
He?s done me on the river
7c 7d 7h :2s: :2h:

Mystic Helmet (Commisions Undertaken)


Thank you for your support  >:(
Currently tearing the Ipoker anonymous tables a new one

Oldsoreknees

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #478 on: January 20, 2009, 20:47:26 PM »


Please see below my prediction for your trip to Walsall:

Pocket Aces :as: ah,
The very first hand,
The Button raises,
To over a grand,
Re raise with all the stack,
Cards are on their back
Anticipation; violent shiver
Blast, damn and bugger it,
He's done me on the river
7c 7d 7h :2s: :2h:

Mystic Helmet (Commisions Undertaken)


Thank you for your support  >:(

I think you will find if you examine it closely I am suggesting that you played the hand entirely correctly - but poker can be a very cruel game, especially when your confidence is high.

monkeyman

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Re: Am I a fish? No I am not.
« Reply #479 on: January 22, 2009, 00:12:30 AM »
Not far off 10000 hits. Come on people, if we all pull together, we can do this pre-Walsall.
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