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Duke attempts the Impossible
duke3016:
Oh and.....
It"s is not, it isn"t ain"t, and it"s it"s, not its, if you mean it is. If you don"t, it"s its. Then too, it"s hers. It isn"t her"s. It isn"t our"s either. It"s ours, and likewise yours and theirs.
duke3016:
I have been rambling about the Guards a lot, and sometimes tongue in cheek. They are on the whole a good bunch and do a very good job. I suppose if you are up to mischief and you have a chance of being caught then your thoughts are a little scrambled.
I was in Scarriff one night and was enjoying a wee drink when someone came into the pub to say that the guards had set up a checkpoint on the bridge and looked like they were there for the long haul. Since the shotgun incident the Guards had been on my case and I really had meant to replace those two bald tyres honest. I was with my girlfriend of the moment and her house and my way home were across that damn bridge. My only other viable route home was to go out the Feakle road and in through Ross which was a detour of about 10km.
I decided to take the long route home to avoid any complications with the law and their interpretation of what constituted “bald”. I bade goodbye to Anne and set off down the Feakle road. I was nearing the turning for Ross and lights appeared in my mirror. I was not that worried, the Guards wouldn't chase me or even know I went this way. Would they ?
I turned into the little bog road that would eventually bring me out at Bodyke village and was shocked to see the lights turn after me. OMG it must be them, only a couple of people lived down this road, bugger.
Well I thought if they are going to get me they will have to catch me. I knew this road like the back of my hand and I put the hammer down. Well I literally flew up that road and Colin Mcrae would have been proud of the way that I negotiated the bridge in a perfect slide (having slicks on the back helped). I shot up the quarry hill like a maniac and back down into the village.
We had two garages, turf sheds really, next to Jimmy Healy's house and I screamed to a halt and jumped out and opened the door and drove the car in and shut the door. All was quiet expect for the pinking of my car as the metal cooled and contracted after the thrashing it had got. No lights, had I got away clean.
After about 10 minutes I peaked out of the doors and the village was as quiet and peaceful as it always was. I walked down the road to the house and went to bed.
No contact the next day so I assumed I was a free man, although their attempts to ensnare me were getting more creative by the day. I wouldn't put it past them to wait a few days then clap me in irons.
I was in Tuamgraney the following weekend when I met Dr Tim Maloney and his wife.
“What about you Ger” says he
“Fine” says I
“You were driving like a lunatic the other night” says he
OMG the whole place knew. I was doomed, they were building their case against me, interviewing people, gathering evidence, polishing the handcuffs, checking the voltage on the chair and were waiting to pounce.
“What” croaked I
“I was behind you the other night going in the Ross road, you really must slow down” says he.
I must have sounded like I had been punched in the stomach as the air exploded out of me. I had forgotten that he was one of the people that lived in that road and nearly killed myself for nothing with my paranoia.
Priceless times that can't be brought back but will never be forgotten
duke3016:
I have been bemused at the response to Italy"s tactics on the social network today. Let"s start with a given, England are one of the best teams in the world right now and rightly so. However the childish "Not fair" , "Not rugby" brigade need to take a long hard look at themselves. England were expected to win by a mile and indeed the coach predicted a 60 point margin (respect for the opposition?) . Do you not think that Italy knew this and needed to do something other than lay down and roll over. They came up with a ploy within the Laws and executed it brilliantly during the first half. Of course England were always expected to eventually cop on and respond (took a while though) and go on to to win, but I for one applaud the innovation and guts to try something different to attempt to nullify the supremacy in skill England were obviously going to "enjoy". As for whinging after a win? get a grip......
duke3016:
I remember times back in Ireland where the older generation just didn't use banks and would have large amounts of money in the house. We used to have a shop and nearly all the transactions were cash. Nowadays if you use cash in a shop you are looked at as if you have 2 heads. Try paying with a £50 note and see what I mean.
Back in Ireland we were also undertakers (I have some tales around that I can tell you!) and I used to look after the shop on a Wednesday night while my parents would go out for a few drinks. I was tending the shop when Mrs Touhy came in and asked if my Father was at home. When I said he was out she gave me a brown paper bag and said “give him that will you”. I politely asked what it was and she said it was enough cash to cover the cost of her funeral, as she didn't want to be a financial burden on her children.
I thought that was so sweet and that my Father would obviously feel the same. When he came back from the pub I gave him the bag and explained what it was for and his reply was.
“Stupid fecking woman, by the time she fecking dies the price of fecking burying her will be way fecking dearer than that”. All heart my dad It's a wonder he didn't put a contract out on her..
duke3016:
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